Love Her Tender
by LadyDumbledore
Summary: Maura tells Jane at the crime scene that she can't marry Casey. That same night, after taking the next day off for them both, they are getting drunk, and find a surprise at the morning, when they both wake up with a hangover. After that night everything turns upside down, and not just once, but not immediately.
1. Chapter 1

I dont own anything besides those words, the characters are copyrighted by TNT, blah blah blah.

if something is written in Italics it means that they are not saying it at the moment (text message, flashback, video, etc...)

enjoy reading!

ADDITION, EDITED ON PUBLISH DAY, 7PM: I've got a very nice comment that lightened my muse bulb and inspired me to write another episode. at the moment, I wrote about a half of the second episode, which I started to write today. keep leaving comments and help me to get inspired over and over again! :)

* * *

**Chapter 1**

"marry him? You can't marry Casey!" Maura said, looking at Jane's eyes.

"really? Cant I?" Jane said, biting her lip.

"was that sarcasm? Maura asked, "I really can't decide".

Jane looked at her, right in her eyes. She didn't say a word. The silence seemed to last for hours, but it was in fact only two or three seconds before Jane said "honestly? I don't know..."

* * *

They were at Maura's place, Maura was holding a glass of red wine as she opened the fridge to get Jane a bottle of beer. It was the end of a long day for the both of them. Jane wanted to stay at the station to continue to work on her case, but Korsak told her that every person in homicide department is working on this case, and since she had a proposal to consider she needs to go home and to get some sleep. Maura decided that Jane shouldn't be alone, so she invited her to spend the night with her at Maura's place.

Jane was sitting on Maura's couch, watching a football match. "no! No no no! What are you doing? Just take the damn ball and run!" she was yelling at the screen, frustrated.

Maura closed the fridge and walked towards Jane. "yelling at the screen wont change the score" she told her, handing her the beer bottle. Jane just took the bottle and said "thanks", still focused on the game.

"who is playing?" Maura asked and sat down on the couch next to Jane. Jane looked at her, shocked.

"are you seriously interested in football? Has the world come to an end?"

"no, I was just being polite. Now listen, I wanted to ask you something" she said while Jane almost choked from her beer, and some of it splattered out from her nose. Maura laughed at Jane, who was still shocked while she went to the kitchen to bring a towel to clean the couch.

"so I wanted to ask you" Maura said, after Jane sat back on the couch and turned the TV off, "I have this gala next Sunday that I have to be in, and I really don't want to go by myself, and I want even less to go with some guy I met on the street..."

"...I'm not coming with you, sorry" Jane said before Maura had finished talking.

"why? It would be fun!"

"you've just said you don't even want to go"

"yes, but it would be fun if you were with me"

"still – no. That is not how I will spend my Sunday evening, or morning, or afternoon, or any part of my Sunday. Understood?" Jane said, looking in Maura's eyes.

Maura sighed. "fine, I guess I can't MAKE you come with me..."

"that's right, you can't. No if you don't mind, I am going to take a shower, because I think that I have drops of beer in my bra" Jane said and stood up. On her way to Maura's shower she winked at Maura, who was still laughing.

While Jane was in the shower, Maura threw the empty beer bottle to the trashcan and putted her empty glass of wine in the sink. She turned around when she heard her phone ringing. Maura checked her phone – a text message from Korsak.

_"IF JANE CAN HEAR YOU DON'T READ IT OUT LOUD! Another body was found, a woman in her late 20's. We don't have a name. We think she might be related to the John Doe that we saw in our crime scene this morning. The MO fits to Hoyt. DON'T TELL JANE!"_

Maura had to read the message four times before she finally understood them. She felt her heart beating loud, she was scared. At the last time Jane met Hoyt she killed him, so how come he is still around? When she heard Jane opening the bathroom door, Maura hurried to put her phone back in her purse.

"is everything okay? You seem worried" Jane asked.

"yes, everything is just fine" she said, smiling at Jane. Only when she looked at her she had noticed that Jane was wearing only a towel. It made her feel... weird. She had never felt like that towards her best friend, and she was confused. "do you need something to wear?"

"yeah, that will be great" Jane said, smiling back at Maura. They went to Maura's bedroom, and Jane putted on the pajama that Maura gave her.

"so I was thinking" Maura said, looking at Jane, "maybe we both should tomorrow take the day off and, you know, have some fun. What do you think?"

"what were you thinking about?" Jane asked, drying her hair.

"I don't know, anything you want"

"okay, sounds nice. I'll just have to ask Korsak if he needs me, because honestly – I could use a day off" Jane said and went to take her phone. She came back to the bedroom a minute later and said that they both have the day off for tomorrow.

"hey – if we have tomorrow off, why wont we get drunk and be all hung over in the morning?" Jane asked, passionately.

"okay, I guess" Maura said, and followed Jane to the kitchen.

"wow, you have a serious lack of alcohol in your house" Jane said sarcastically after opening Maura's liquor cabinet, opening a bottle of vodka.

"I actually bought most of these for you, because I usually drink wine" Maura said and pulled shots glasses out of another cabinet.

"well, I'm flattered" Jane said. They sat on the couch in the living room. Jane poured them shots and before they could tell the bottle was empty.

* * *

Maura woke up in the morning with a strange feeling. Her head was hurt and the room was spinning as she sat down on her bed. Only then she had realized she was naked. She looked at her watch. 9:35 am. It took her a few minutes to understand that she is not late for work. She lied on her back, looking around the room. Her eyes landed on a chair across the room. She waited that the room would stop spinning before she looked back at it. She saw a video camera, aimed to the bed. Maura decided that she will check it out later. She lied on her back and waited until Jane will wake up.

"Maura?" Jane mumbled when she had opened her eyes.

"good morning sunshine" Maura said, touching her shoulder. Jane turned and looked at her. Maura looked at Jane, feeling that same strange feeling she had the night before, when Jane came out of the shower.

"why am I naked, and why do I feel like there is a war in my head?" Jane asked, sitting up.

"well" Maura said, sitting up as well, "I have a feeling that it has something to do with the three bottles of vodka we drank last night, and might also have something to do with the video camera across the room"

"whats the time?" Jane asked, not paying attention to what Maura had just said.

"ten. Do you want to get coffee somewhere?"

"no, I... you were saying something about a video camera?" Jane asked, still sitting on the bed.

"yes, across the room" Maura said, pointing at the chair. Jane reached with her hand and grabbed the camera.

"shall we watch it now or later?" Maura asked.

"now. I want to know why the hell are we both naked" Jane said. Maura covered herself in her robe and handed another one to Jane. They went to the living room, Jane plugged the video camera to the TV and they sat on the couch. Maura felt again that same strange feeling. She couldn't figure out what was it, she only knew that it was... nice.

Jane pressed play. They saw themselves completely drunk, laughing at each other and at themselves. Jane pressed on Fast Forward until she saw the camera moving. They watched Jane holding Maura's hand, who was holding the camera in her other hand. Jane was leading her to the bedroom. They placed the camera on the chair and went to bed.

_"come on, leave the camera! Come and get me" Jane said, laughing. Maura made sure that the camera was stable and ran and jumped on the bed. Jane laughed and leaned over her, kissing her passionately. Maura putted her hands around Jane's scruff. For a while they were kissing, not even stopping to take a breath, rolling on the bed. The kisses, who were gentle at first, became more and more passionate, until Maura sat up and took her shirt off._

"Maura? I think we found out why we were both naked..." Jane said. They looked at each other, shocked and confused.

* * *

"do you even remember something, anything, that happened last night?" Jane asked Maura after they had finished watching the video.

"no, I swear. I woke up twenty five minutes earlier than you and had no intention to do anything before you wake up, I was so hung over from last night" Maura said. "do you remember anything?" she sighed.

"after the first half of the second vodka bottle it's all blur" she said, frustrated. For a few minutes they were just sitting on the couch, neither of them didn't say a word.

"I... Whe... its... "Maura tried to find the words to explain what she had in mind. She took a deep breath and said "I've never kissed a girl. Not once, in my entire life" she said. Jane waited for her to continue. Maura took another deep breath before she said "and... I think I kind of want to know how it feels, because I don't remember anything from last night, so it doesn't actually counts". Maura looked at Jane, hesitated look on her face.

Jane took a few seconds to think. "why would you like to kiss a girl, if you're attracted to men?" she asked eventually.

"after the last time you fought Hoyt, the time I almost died myself, I made a promise to myself to try something new everyday, because your life could end any minute. Everyday, at least one new thing, even if its only an ice cream flavor, or to try drinking my coffee with extra sugar" Maura explained, "and it feels to me like it's the right new thing to try today".

They looked in each others eyes, thinking in silence. They were close. Maura's phone was ringing, another text from Korsak. She decided to read it later. After she sat back on the couch her and Jane were even closer.

"I don't know, honestly Maur – I have no idea" Jane said. Looking at Maura. She had noticed just now how close they are, and how beautiful Maura looks in a simple robe.

Maura took Jane's hand. She looked at their hands, holding each other, and raised her look up to Jane's eyes. She saw confusion in them. Maura wasn't thinking, she grabbed Jane by her scruff, pulled her closer and kissed her.

Jane was shocked at first, but a few seconds later all she could think about was how good Maura's smell is and how come she is such a good kisser. Jane putted one hand on Maura's scruff and the other on her wrist. Maura putted her hands on Jane's wrists, hugging her, as Jane stroked Maura's dark blonde hair. They were both passionate, exploring each others' limits and vulnerabilities.

"come with me" Jane said out of the blue, taking Maura by the hand to the bedroom. She pushed Maura on the bed and took her robe off. Maura was staring at her, hypnotized. Jane threw her shirt at the floor. "how is that as 'something new for today', Maura?" she asked.

"amazing" Maura said, pulling Jane towards her to kiss her.

"wait, wait, Maura wait" Jane said after a while. They both sat up.

"what is it?" Maura asked, confused.

"its... lets just take things slower, okay? I mean, I don't even know how will Casey fit in this whole thing" Jane said, holding Maura's hands. Maura smiled at her, looking in her eyes as she leaned slowly closer to Jane, kissing her softly.

"what happened? Why did you stop? Did I do something wrong?" Maura asked a few minutes later when Jane stopped kissing her.

"no, it's just... I'm with Casey, I can't do that to him, I can't cheat on him. I'm not that kind of person" she said, looking down at Maura's hands, "I love Casey, I love him with all my heart. He is everything I've ever wanted and more. But now... I'm kissing you, I'm doing something that I've always thought is off limit because you are my best friend, and I like it, I'm not going to lie to you or to myself. I like to kiss you, and I have this strange feeling in my stomach every time you kiss me". Jane's voice broke a little and a small tear wend down her cheek. Maura sighed, holding Jane's hands and looking into her eyes.

"Jane, look at me" Maura said, putting her hand under Jane's chin, raising her head up, "look at me. There is no reason for you to cry. That feeling you have? I've had it too for the last few days. Actually, I think that I had it every time I looked at you, but until a few days ago I didn't notice it" she looked at her brunette friend's eyes, who were still a bit wet. Maura wiped a tear from Jane's eye and said "I love you Jane, and I think I love you more than just a best friend. You are all I have, you are not only my best friend but also my only friend. The choice is all yours, and I will respect every choice you'll make"

Jane wiped her tears, took a deep breath and asked "could we just lie here for a while?". Maura smiled an nodded. They were lying on Maura's bed, Jane's head on Maura's shoulder. Maura hugged Jane with both of her hands. Every once in a while Jane asked what time is it, and so they lied on Maura's bed for hours until they both fell asleep.

* * *

NOTE: yeah, I started their relationship/romance in the first chapter, but don't worry - you all are going to get the tension, conflicts and emotional issues you deserve to get! :)

Leave comments, positive and negative, but don't be harsh! :)


	2. Chapter 2

The second chapter, as I promised! Just reminding you - yes, I started the romance very very early, but don't worry because you WILL get the conflicts you deserve to get! :)

**Chapter 2**

_"Janie… Jane… it's me, don't you recognize me? It's me, your worst nightmare, the one you stabbed with a scalpel, the one who stayed your demon even after you killed him… Janie, don't you want to open your eyes? I promise you, it will be worth it… don't you want to see me kill your sweet little friend, Dr. Maura Isles?" Hoyt was smiling at her, but all his smile contained was pure evil and hatred._

_Jane tried to fight, but she couldn't. She tried to reach her hand to Maura's, but Hoyt kept pushing Maura away from her, laughing. "Don't you dare touching her! Stay away from her you freak!" she shouted, but Hoyt just kept laughing. She tried once again to reach Maura's hand, but the lights went off._

_"Maura! Maura, can you hear me? Maura say something!" Jane screamed, panicked. _

_"Janie, Janie, wake up… Jane… can you hear me? Janie, can you hear me? Wake up, wake up…"_

"Maura, Maura…" Jane whispered with deep despair.

"Janie, Jane, wake up, it's me, Jane. Janie wake up, I'm right here!" This voice wasn't coming from Jane's head, it was real. Jane opened her eyes. She was covered with cold sweat and she was shaking. "Maura…" she whispered.

"Jane, it's okay, I'm right here, I'm okay." Maura smiled at her, stroking her head gently.

"It was just a dream, just another nightmare… oh thank god, it was just a nightmare…" Jane said while she sat up and hugged Maura.

"You're sweating… Oh Jane..." Maura said, hugging her tighter.

"Maur, can I use your shower?" Jane asked after she calmed herself down.

"Yes, of course. I will make you a cup of coffee, okay?" Maura looked at her, right into her eyes. They were filled with anger, frustration and fear.

"That will be great, Maur, thank you." Jane said. Maura gave her one last hug and Jane went to take a shower.

Jane closed her eyes. She was standing in the shower and the water and wished that Maura would come to comfort her. Even though Maura was only a few feet away, Jane felt alone. She wanted to go home to Casey, but at the same time she wanted to stay with Maura. She knew that eventually she will have to go home, and Maura will have to stay here.

Fifteen minutes later Jane stepped out of the shower. When she opened the bathroom door she saw Maura standing in front of her, holding a t shirt, a pair of jeans and a clean underwear.

"I was just about to knock, I thought you might need these." Maura smiled at her.

"Maura… you're the best, I mean it." Jane hugged her, took the clothes and went to get dressed. When she came to the kitchen she saw Maura waiting for her with a cup of coffee.

"How are you feeling?" Maura asked her when they sat on the couch in the living room.

"Better, but he just can't let go of me. I hate it that every once in a while I have to remember in his sick mind, his mad smile when he looks at me. And in my dreams he tries to make me feel guilty for killing him." Jane said, looking at her cup.

"Don't let anyone, ever, make you feel guilty for killing him. He did not deserve to live." Maura said, putting a comforting hand on Jane's shoulder. Jane raised her head and liked at Maura. Neither of them said a thing. Jane turned her back at Maura, who wrapped her hands around Jane and hugged her. Only the sound of Jane drinking her coffee was heard, and they were both just fine with the silence.

"Do you want to go home to Casey or you would rather stay for another night here?" Maura asked Jane a little while later.

"I think I'll go home to get some clothes for tomorrow and come back to sleep here. Anyway, I have to see Casey today." Jane said, sitting up and turning at Maura. She went to put her cup in the sink and Maura followed her to the kitchen. Jane sat on one of the chairs, holding her head in her hands.

"Oh, Jane… come here." Maura said softly and hugged Jane. Jane hugged her back, holding the tears from streaming down her face. Hoyt's vicious smile was the only thing she saw when she closed her eyes. Jane putted her head in Maura's shoulder, she wanted to close her eyes but she was afraid to see Hoyt's face again. Maura putted Jane's head in her hands and looked her in the eyes.

_It so easy, so simple, all it takes is just to get two inches closer, to shut the distance between their faces, to reach Jane's lips with hers. She wanted to kiss her, she wanted to feel that passion that was burning inside Jane's bones, just like it was in the morning. She wanted to make a move, but Jane's words, 'let's take things slower', kept running through her head. So she was just standing there, Jane's head between her hands, hoping that Jane would make a move._

_She wanted to kiss her, she wanted Jane to stay, for now and forever. She wanted Jane, with her flaws and everything, she wanted the over protective Jane, the one who saved her life countless times, the one who would shoot anyone who would try to touch Maura in a way she didn't like. She wanted her to lift her up and carry her to the bed, just like in all the romantic comedies Jane was always laughing at. She didn't want to let go, not now, not ever._

"I'll be back in a few hours, okay?" Jane said, "Don't worry, I will be fine, Casey is home and I have to see him, I WANT to see him." Maura nodded, she understood, Jane was probably about to get engaged to Casey, and it still might happen. Jane putted her jacket on and grabbed her cop belt, Maura walked her to the door. Jane's hand was already on the doorknob when she turned around. She grabbed Maura be her wrist, pulled her closer and kissed her, softly. It was a short kiss, no longer than five seconds, but it was exactly what Maura needed.

On her way back to Maura's house Jane's mind was filled with thoughts. When she got home to Casey he was watching TV, shirtless. She told him to turn the TV off and to get himself to the bedroom. She wasn't very much aroused, she mainly wanted to know whether she is still attracted to him or not. After they slept she found out that she most definitely did, but when they were lying in bed she wished that Maura would be there instead of Casey, and on her way to Maura's house she couldn't stop thinking about her. She loved Casey, she could tell that easily, she loved the feeling of his hands on her arms, the way he kisses her, the way he simply looks at her and smile. She knew that Casey was everything she wanted in a man, everything she wanted at all, and more, and he was willing to give up his career for her, if she said they will get married. But then there was Maura, her best friend ever since she started to work at BPD, the person who knows her best. Maura could read Jane's face like an open book, they could talk with their eyes only. Jane would have given up her life to save Maura's, and she knew Maura would do the same. Maura was there every time Casey had to go back to the army and leave her in Boston, she was there to wipe every tear, to give every hug, to say all the comforting words, and yet Jane couldn't imagine kissing her. Until this morning, apparently.

She parked her car in front of Maura's house. She saw that the lights in the guest house, where her mom lives, were off. _'She is probably fooling around with my boss'_ Jane thought to herself, half kidding half disgusted, but in her heart she thanked Cavanaugh for having an affair with her mom, _'at least there will be no witnesses'_ she thought to herself. She went to the front door and knocked a couple of times. "Just a minute," she heard Maura's voice. Jane smiled automatically.

"Jane." Maura said when she opened the door. They both smiled at each other.

"Hey Maur, have you been cooking? What's that smell?" Jane said, coming in after Maura.

"Yes, I have actually. But not for either of us – for Bass." she said. Jane looked at her, and so many sarcastic answers were running in her mind.

"I went to the vet with him a few days ago, and he told me that if I want Bas to be healthier I should steam the vegetables he eats with vitamins powder he gave me." she said after she noticed Jane's look. Maura took Bass' food bowl and filled it with a bunch of steamed lettuce and cucumbers. Jane rolled her eyes and went to put her bag in the guest room.

"So are we going to eat or you have an intention to starve me to death?" Jane asked when she came back to the kitchen. Maura laughed and hugged her.

"No, I do not have an intention to starve you to death. I've ordered Chinese food for us, because I knew you'd like it." Maura said and took out of the fridge the food she had ordered earlier. They sat on the sofa while the food was in the microwave.

While they were eating they both got the same text message from Frost:

_'Korsak and I solved the two murders. They were a married couple who specialized in IDs theft. They were murdered after stealing the identities of a former gang member and his girlfriend, and they were murdered by the same gang' members who were sure he betrayed them. The man was Hoyt's son. We don't know if that means anything. Anyway, the case is closed, see you tomorrow.'_

"Well, at least we have some good news." Maura said.

"Yeah, right. That means that tomorrow I'll be filling official forms I should have finished like a month ago, and it will probably take me the whole day..." she sighed in frustration.

"It will be fine Jane. If you get bored you can always come to see me in my office." Maura smiled at her. They finished eating cleaned after themselves.

"I think I'm going to get some sleep, I've had a weird day." Jane said.

"I think you should. Go to sleep, I'll put the leftovers in the fridge and go to sleep too." Maura said, "go to sleep, you deserve it". She held Jane's hands and looked in her eyes. Jane looked at her best friend. She felt the same feeling she had when they were kissing earlier that day, that weird tickle in her stomach. Weird, but nice. Jane wanted to kiss her, she wanted that right now more than anything else in the world, but instead she just pulled Maura from her wrists and hugged her. They were standing hugged that way for a few minutes, and then Jane went to put on her pajama and to brush her teeth.

Maura stayed in the kitchen, watching her brunette friend walking to the guest room, which was practically her own room. She wondered how would she feel if Jane was walking down the aisle, saying _'I do'_ and kissing Casey, who would become her husband. The thought of Jane getting married to Casey was almost unbearable for her. She putted the leftovers in the fridge and went to her bedroom. She was still wearing the robe she wore this morning, and she crashed her body on the bed. She lied with her eyes open for an hour or so. She couldn't get herself to fall asleep, and so she stood up and went to the guest room.

Jane was asleep, and Maura didn't want to wake her up, she had no intention to do that. She looked at sleeping Jane for a few minutes and then she went and sat on the bed next to her, stroking Jane's arm. She didn't know how much time had passed, suddenly she heard Jane mumbles.

"Maura… Maura is that you..?" Jane said is her sleep.

"I'm right here Jane, I'm right here…" she said. Jane opened her eyes and turned at her.

"Hey, what are you doing here? Why aren't you asleep?" Jane asked her, turning the lamp that stood on the nightstand on.

"I don't know, I just can't sleep." she answered, putting her hand on Jane's shoulder.

"Why? Is something wrong?" Jane asked. Maura could tell she was concerned.

"I… I think I'm scared of something." she looked down at her knee.

"Of what Maur?"

"I don't know. When I read the text Frost sent us, when I read that the victim was somehow related to Hoyt… sometimes just hearing his name scares me, because I know how much he hurt you..." she answered after a few deep breaths.

"Oh, Maur… listen, I know I still have nightmares about him, but that's enough that he is coming to see me when I'm asleep, I don't want him to come for me through you when I'm awake. You have nothing to be afraid of." Jane said, comforting her friend. Stroked Maura's blonde hair and smiled.

"Do you mind if I sleep with you?" Maura asked, hoping.

"No, not at all. Come here." Jane opened her arms to let Maura cuddle with her. Maura putted her head on Jane's arm. They were lying, saying nothing at all, for a little while. Jane knew that she probably won't come back to sleep tonight, so it's best just to lie there and help her best friend to feel safe again.

"I want to kiss you," Maura said after a long silence, "most of the day that was all I wanted"

"Why didn't you, then?" Jane asked her, amused.

"Those words you said, 'let's take things slow', kept running through my head." Maura admitted.

"I said slow, as in slow, not slow as in turtle slow." Jane laughed at her, successfully trying to put a smile on Maura's face.

"Maur, I'm not saying you can't touch me or kiss me, but we are also not going to have sex or something, okay? We will figure everything out, step by step." Jane said. Maura sat up, smiling, and turned the lamp off, leaving the room dark, and the only light was the moonlight that came through the open window. She leaned close to Jane's face, only a few millimeters were between their mouths. One of Maura's curls fell on her eye. Jane moved it back, stroking Maura's blonde hair.

"Teaser."

"Why am I a teaser?"

"Because! Because you are lying over me, less than half of an inch between our mouths, and instead of just kissing me like you've said you wanted to do all day, you're just staring at me and smiling." Jane said, "What are you waiting for? Do you want it to be special or romantic or something?"

"Every moment with you is special." Maura said, there was some sort of glitter in her eyes when she looked at Jane.

Jane rolled her eyes, "you're such a cliché, I think I'm going to be sick"

"Okay, okay!" Maura laughed and closed the small distance between their lips.

It was the best kiss Jane has ever had. Maura was gentle, and yet very passionate. Jane caressed Maura's back and went down to her thigh. The kiss has got deepened slowly.

Jane's phone was ringing. As she reached her hand to shut it down, she had accidentally pressed on the play button of the stereo remote control. She putted her phone on silence mode, as the stereo started playing _Elvis as recorded live on Madison Square Garden_. It was the last song of side A.

As Elvis was singing _Love Me Tender_, Maura and Jane couldn't take their hands off each other. The kisses have got deepened more and more, until Jane said "Remember what I said, about that we won't be having sex?"

"A-ha..." Maura said, kissing Jane's collarbone.

"Yeah, well, forget what I said, you can take your robe off if you want." she said, rolling Maura on her back and lying over her.

Maura pushed Jane up gently, "why don't you take my robe off?" Maura winked playfully, and Jane kissed her again.

"Good morning sunshine." Jane opened her eyes and saw Maura standing near the bed, holding a trace. "I thought you might be tired, you haven't slept much last night." Maura winked and putted the trance on Jane's hips.

"Oh, shut up, you can't say you didn't like it." Jane smiled and moved aside so Maura could sit next to her.

"I did not say anything like that, at all. All I'm saying is that you might want to get some rest, because we both have a long day of paperwork." Maura winked at her again and grabbed a toast. Jane sighed when she heard the word _'paperwork'_.

"Listen, Maur…" Jane started after they both finished eating.

Maura putted the trace on the nightstand, "what is it Jane?"

"Last night… again, not that I didn't like it, it was probably the best sex I've ever had…" Jane said, smiling at Maura who was flattered.

"…But I think that we both got carried away, especially me. I'm still with Casey, and last night I cheated on him, and I hate myself for that." she took a deep breath, and then she continued. "I can't do that anymore, I need some time to think, to figure out how the hell I'm moving on from this point."

"I know, I thought you might say something like that, so I allowed myself to get you a little present." Maura said and took an envelope out of her robe pocket, "Your birthday is next month, so I bought you an early birthday present. A week in a five stars hotel in Miami. I've already talked to Cavanaugh, you have the entire week off, starting today. I've paid only for one person, so either I or Casey could come with you." Jane opened the envelope and smiled at Maura.

"What's the time?" she asked after a little while.

"Almost seven thirty. I have about half an hour before I need to go to work." Maura said, putting her hand on Jane's.

"So… how about we will just lie here on the bed for the next half an hour?" Jane asked, pulling Maura closer to her.

They were just lying on the bed for almost thirty minutes, kissing once in a while, but mostly just hugging each other and saying nothing. Eventually Maura had to go to work. Jane picked up her stuff and went home to tell Casey that she is going to be in Miami for a week, and to ask him gently not to contact her.

* * *

Hope you've enjoyed reading the chapter! Leave comments please! :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Maura heard a knock on the door. She crossed the room and opened the door.

"Jane!" Maura said in excitement. She haven't seen her best friend in a week, and considering what had happened before Jane went to Miami, it was really difficult for Maura.

"Maur, its so good to see you" Jane hugged her best friend. It was hard for her to be away from Maura for so long. They were standing in the door, hugging each other, until Maura had finally invited Jane to come in.

they sat on the couch, face to face.

"Well? How was your week?" Maura asked.

"Oh, Maur! It was great. The room, and the hotel, it was wonderful. And I finally had some time alone just for myself..." Jane said, hugging Maura.

"I'm glad you've enjoyed your week off" she smiled at her friend, "Did you come to a decision about Casey?"

"Actually," Jane started, "that's why I came to see you first. Look, Maur, I love you. I really do. I would give my life to save yours, and I've proved it to you so many times."

"I can feel that there is a but on the way." Maura said.

"But I chose Casey." Jane said. Maura was silent. She was positive that Jane would choose her over Casey, she felt like she could give her everything Casey gives her, and more.

"Come on, Maura! Say something, anything!" Jane begged.

"Uh... Wh.. What do you want me to say?" Maura said quietly, "You chose him over me, and as your best friend I guess I'll just have to accept that and move on, or at least try to move on." Her voice broke and she felt a tear streaming down her face.

"Maura, don't do this to me..." Jane putted Maura's head between her hands, forcing her to look her in the eyes, "Don't do that to me, you don't even imagine how hard this is to me. I've never thought I would choose anyone over you, but you have to realize that I've been waiting for Casey to leave the army for a really long time, and once there is a chance for this to happen, I cant miss it".

"I... I understand, eventually I will understand." Maura sobbed. She couldn't digest the fact that Jane was giving her up like that.

"Maura... That's so unfair... I chose Casey, but I see you cry and all I have in mind is how badly I want to kiss you..."

"So do it." Maura said, determined, "Do it, prove yourself that you have no feelings to me whatsoever."

"Maura..."

"No," Maura stood up,"do it! Come on! Prove it to the both of us!" Maura was determined to show Jane that she is wrong, and Jane wanted to show Maura that she is doing the right choice. Jane stood up, getting closer to Maura. She held Maura's scruff between her hands, and pulled her with a fast move towards her, kissing her with more passion she could imagine to have. Maura undressed Jane from her jacket and threw it on the floor.

"Maura, no, that's not fair." Jane stepped back.

"Why? Because I force you to face your real feelings? Because you're afraid that Casey will never be able to satisfy you, like I did when we slept, the night before you took a week off?" Maura was furious. She wanted Jane to realize that she was best for her, and not Casey. "Cant you see that I'm better for you Jane? Are you that blind?"

"Shut up! Just, just shut up..." Jane's breaths were heavy and she was mad.

"No! I will not shut up! I felt this kiss too, Jane." Maura yelled, following Jane who took a few steps away from her. "No one, including you, can kiss someone like that and claim that there were no feelings involved." Maura lowered her tone a bit. She was angry with Jane for not seeing what was obvious to her, but she had to make Jane see it, and it wont happen if Maura kept yelling.

"Well, I am the proof you can." Jane said reproachfully.

"I don't believe you. We both felt that kiss, you cant put another wall Jane, especially not a wall that will keep me away from you. I know you better than anyone else in this world." Maura said, softly. She held Jane's hands in hers. They looked at each others eyes. Jane wasn't going to give up, she had made her decision. Maura could see it in her eyes, very clearly this time.

"Fine, its your choice, and your mistake. If you want to marry someone who can give you less than I can, then I wont stop you." Maura said, frustrated and defeated. "I'm going to bed. I've had a very long day. Goodnight Jane, and goodbye."

"Maura..." Jane followed Maura to her bedroom. She stayed standing while Maura changed to pajama and lied in her bed.

"Maur, that's so unfair what you're doing right now..." Jane said, exhausted, "You'll always be my best friend, you'll always be the one I will die for, the one who had almost died with me the last time I met Hoyt. You'll always be the best Medical Examiner I've even worked with, and the person who knows be best." Jane's voice broke.

"Jane," Maura sat up, holding Jane's hands. Jane sat on the bed, her legs are still on the floor. She looked at Maura, her eyes begging for this to end. "Jane, I will always think that this is probably your biggest mistake, that you should have picked me over him. Nothing is going to change my mind about this. You need to realize that... things will change. All those sleepovers, the touchings, sharing a bed, the conversations with our eyes, it's all going to change. I wont be able to move on, unless things will change."

Maura started to cry again. She couldn't help it. As she kept talking her voice broke. "If you'll ever change your mind you know where to find me. I hope you will come back before it's too late, but no matter what – you know where to find me. But I cant promise that I will be waiting for you. I cant wait for you until you'll be married to him and realize you want to get a divorce."

"Maur, I'm so, so sorry... I do love you, but I just cant give up on Casey. When I gave up agent Dean... it was one of the hardest things I've ever did in my whole life, and until I had to choose between you and Casey, it was the hardest of all." Jane felt a few tears streaming down her face. She didn't want to cry, and her voice broke as well when she talked. "But I just cant give up on Casey, I cant. I've been waiting for him for too long, and now when I finally have a chance to be with him, knowing he wont be back to the army... I have to take this chance, I cant let him go again."

Maura wiped her tears, "Okay. I'm not going to lie to you, you're breaking my heart right now," she said, still crying, "and the fact that you are the one who broke it hurts me even more. I really hoped you'd choose me over Casey."

"I think I'll go home to Casey now" Jane said. They were both still crying, but they could take deeper breaths now.

Maura touched Jane's cheek gently and said "Goodbye, Jane." Maura blinked her eyes a few times, holding more tears from streaming down her face. Jane putted her hand on Maura's shoulder, she didn't want to leave her best friend like this. She touched Maura's blonde, soft hair, and Maura couldn't help it. She leaned closer to Jane, kissing her as softly as possible. They didn't move, neither of them had backed down or deepened the kiss.

Jane closed her eyes, subconsciously wishing this moment to last forever. Neither of them had make a move for a few minutes, and then Jane backed out a few millimeters. She leaned her forehead on Maura's.

"Goodbye, Jane. I... I believe you have a fiance whose waiting for you to come back." Maura said. She turned her back to Jane, turned off the lamp and putted her head on the pillow. Jane touched Maura's shoulder one last time before she stood up and left. Only after Maura heard the door slammed she had allowed herself to cry again. It was a quiet, almost silent cry. Her tears streamed down her face and in a short time the pillow was soaked with her tears.

* * *

Really hope you've enjoyed reading!

I know that this chapter was quite short, but chapter 4 is a lot longer than I expected. Also, I'm already working on chapter 5, so make sure your'e keeping yourself posted!

And don't forget to leave comments, because I read everything, even in PMs.


	4. Chapter 4

I've got some comments lately, from unhappy readers, so I just want to make things clear - this is indeed a Rizzles fanfiction, but both Jane and Maura will have a long way until they will end up with each other, and I would have said more but I don't want to spiol to any of you. If you've enjoyed it so far - don't give up just because you thing this isn't Rizzles, because it is, and it will come eventually, but give it time.

* * *

**Chapter 4**

Jane opened the apartment door. Casey was sitting on the couch, watching the news.

"Jane! Welcome back!" he said and turned the TV off, "I wasn't expecting you to come for at least a few hours."

"So do you want me to leave and come back later?" she asked, closing the door after herself.

"Your words, not mine." Casey smiled at her and stood up. She had dropped her bag near the door. She loved to see him smile. Jane ran to him. They hugged each other, happy to be together again.

"You have no idea how much I missed you." she whispered in his ear.

"I know. I missed you too, Jane. I've missed you so much." Casey backed out a little, wrapped his hands around Jane's thighs and held her up in the air. She leaned to kiss him, she missed the touch of his lips on hers. He carried her to the bedroom. She felt her heart beating louder, stronger and faster, she wished he will never take his hands off her.

* * *

"Wow." Jane said, her heart still beating loud. "Just... WOW."

"I think," he said, breathing heavily, "I think that it was even better than the last time I came from Afghanistan."

"I cant understand a word you're saying, I'm still stuck at _'wow'_..."

Casey laughed. He kissed her and asked "are you hungry? I can make you something to eat."

"Really? Could you? Because I skipped launch, the food on the plane looked like it expired five years ago." Jane couldn't believe how great he is.

"Sounds like a treat." he laughed and went to the kitchen.

Jane stayed in bed, smiling to herself like a teenage girl who had just been kissed for the first time. She had missed Casey when she was in Miami. She remembered how badly she had also missed Maura, but she tried not to think of her. She knew that if she would, eventually she will find herself going to see her, and probably ending up sleeping with her again. She had hoped that Maura will get over her as soon as possible, she absolutely did not want to lose her best friend.

Casey came back to the bedroom with a trace filled with plates. "I allowed myself to spoil you a little." he said with a smile. Jane kissed him and started eating.

"You are simply the best person I've even met." she said after she finished eating half of the food. Casey smiled while he watched her eating.

"So what do you want to do in whats left of the day?" he asked her, stroking her hair.

"Absolutely nothing. I just want to stay here with you until I have to go to work tomorrow." She said, putting her head on his shoulder. He smiled at her, hugging her gently. Jane didn't want him to let go, even though she was still fighting herself, trying to stop thinking about Maura.

* * *

"Morning, ma," Jane said as she walked into Division One Cafe.

"Jane! How was your week in Miami sweetie?" Angela went to hug her daughter.

"It was great, ma." Jane hugged her back. She putted her head on her mother's shoulder and whispered in her ear "I need to talk to you later. Is there a chance that you will stay after hours?"

"Why cant you come over to Maura's house? She will be glad to see you."

"I just cant, I promise I'll explain everything, just please stay after hours for me, okay?"

Angela nodded, looking at Jane's face. Jane smiled and went to the elevator. She saw Maura waiting for the elevator, alone.

"Maura." Jane said when she was right behind her. Maura turned around to see who was talking to her.

"Jane, good morning." she said. The door opened and they both entered the elevator.

They were both silent. Jane didn't know what to say, and Maura didn't want to say anything at all. When the door opened again Jane followed Maura to her office.

"Let go of my hand Jane." Maura said as Jane grabbed her hand, preventing her from entering her office.

"No. Now you listen to me. That is so unfair to do what you're doing to me." Jane forced Maura to look her in the eyes. "You cant tell me that the decision is all mine, and when I choose something you don't like just act like we were never friends. That is NOT how it works."

"How does it work, **detective**?" Maura said. Jane was offended. The last time Maura had called her _'detective'_ was when they had a huge fight after Jane accidentally shot Maura's father.

"Fine, we will have it your way then, **doctor**." Jane returned. Maura hated it when Jane called her doctor, but she remained calm and focused.

"This is not _'my way'_ Jane. You chose Casey over me, and I told you that some things will change. Well, the changes are starting now. You have to understand that this is me, trying to protect my own heart from being broken again, by you." Maura said. Jane had let go of Maura's arm, and she stepped into her office, closing the door after herself.

* * *

Jane was frustrated. Not only that the huge pile of paperwork seemed like it has grown when she was in Miami, but now she had lost, probably forever, her best friend. She didn't even noticed when Korsak said that there is a body of an adult in a toolshed near an elementary school's yard.

"Ouch!" she yelled, giving Frost a deadly look.

"Korsak has been talking to you for ten minutes. There is a body – do you want to go or not?" he asked her calmly.

"Yes, I'll go." she said and apologized to Korsak on their way out of the station.

"Okay, what is going on in your head?" Korsak asked her while they stood in a traffic jam.

"Me? Nothing. Why do you have a reason to think that something is wrong with me?" she defended herself.

"Because you weren't listening to me for ten minutes, and I was talking about a case. At some point I've even started to say thing like _'and I have a tattoo of barbie and ken on my lower back'_, and you were still not listening. If you could ignore that, there is something wrong." He finished talking with a tone of reproach. Jane took a deep breath before she started to talk.

"Remember that before I went to Miami Maura and I took a day off? Well, the night before that day we both got drunk. We drank about four bottles of vodka, and apparently we recorded ourselves... making out." she finished with a little fear in her voice.

"Really? You and Maura? Man, Frost owes me fifty dollars." Korsak laughed. Jane was shocked.

"Never mind. Anyway, during most of the day we had off, we were together, and we ended up sleeping together the night before my flight." Jane was embarrassed to talk about this with Korsak.

"Wow." he was surprised. He looked at her. Jane was biting her lower lip, like saying _'what else could I have done?'_

"So... what is the meaning of this?" Korsak asked.

"Well, first of all, that means I cheated on Casey. And I hated myself for that. And Maura's heart is broken, she barely even looks at me. We were alone in the elevator this morning, and I swear you could hear a pin drops." She said. Korsak waited for her to continue. "She payed for my flight and the hotel in Miami, she said it was an early birthday present, and that I have to be alone for some time, to make a decision and to choose between her and Casey. When I came back I told her that I chose him, and she was devastated. She even made me cry!"

Korsak took a few deep breaths before he started talking, digesting every word Jane said. "Do you want to hear my opinion?"

"Yes, I'm completely lost." Jane said. They finally started to move.

"Look, I like Casey. He is a good guy. He is a soldier, and as far as I can tell, he will probably be a veteran soon. But you don't have the same point of view as me. I do realize that she is your best friend, and that fact makes your friendship different than other friendships, but there is something else in there. You two – I've never seen two girls talking full conversations with their eyes like you two do." Jane smiled. "So I think," he continued, "and please don't be mad at me, that Maura is right. I think that you should have chosen her over Casey."

"Really? You're agreeing with Maura?" Jane couldn't believe what he had just said.

"That is my opinion. You can take it or leave it, you can do what ever you want with it, it's you're life and not mine. And I don't hate Casey, not at all. I can tell that he loves you and cares about you, that he is willing to give up his life to save yours."

"But despite all of those things, you think that Maura is right, that she is better for me?"

"Yes. I think that Maura can give you anything that Casey can give you, and more. Well, maybe except of the sex part."

"Actually, about this issue, I beg to differ." Jane laughed.

"Well," Korsak said, "how did you feel after sleeping with her?"

"I liked it, a lot. I loved it and it was great and wonderful and magical, it really was. And I haven't think of Casey at all while we slept, or after we slept."

"And when you've slept with him?"

"There was one time that during the whole time I couldn't stop thinking about her. It happened at the day I took off of work. It was great, don't get me wrong, but I just couldn't help myself from thinking of her." Jane confessed.

"Well, there you go. My point exactly." Korsak said, and Jane sighed.

* * *

When they have arrived at the crime scene Maura was already there near the body.

"What do we have here?" Jane asked, standing next to Maura.

"Male, mid thirties, no ID, no wallet, found with his throat slit. There are traces of struggle all over his upper body." Maura said in a businesslike tone.

"Come ON, Maura, you can't act like that in a crime scene!" Jane was desperate.

"Jane, just let it go." Korsak said, holding her arm. Jane sighed at went to look for evidence at the scene.

Korsak bent, so he was now the same height as Maura, who was still checking the body.

"I know about you two." he whispered in her ear.

"Apparently, there is nothing to know about." Maura said at the same tone.

"I know that Jane had the wrong decision." He said. Then he stood up and went to help Jane, and missed the smile on Maura's face.

"I found something." They heard a voice. Jane and Korsak went to see what the guy with the CSU uniform was holding.

"Looks like a bullet, nine millimeters I think." Korsak said.

"Did you bag it already?" Jane asked, looking closely at the bullet.

"No." the CSU guy said. Jane raised her look, looked him in the eyes, shocked.

"Are you saying this guy, or his killer, was probably a cop?" Korsak asked.

"Either this, or they somehow broke in the station and stole this from the evidence department." the guy said.

"Good job, very good job. Bag it and send it to Evidence Department." Jane said.

"You want me to bag the bag itself?" he asked.

"Yes. The bag itself is probably a very important evidence." she answered and continued looking for any other helpful things at the scene.

"I cant get you anything else about this guy before the autopsy. I need him on my table." Maura said to Korsak. "I'll be at the station, give me a call if you need me back here."

"Okay. And, Maura," he said. She looked him. "I wasn't joking or lying. Jane told me everything that was in her mind for the last ten days, and I even told her that I think she chose wrong. Just... carry on, for now." he said. They smiled at each other and Maura went to the van that took her to the station with the body.

* * *

Maura leaned over the body. She was in the middle of the autopsy when she found something hidden in the victim's shoulder. She texted Jane, asking her to come because there is something she needs to see.

"Hey. You said you've got something." Jane said as she walked in a few minutes later.

"Yes, I found this," she showed Jane a small, black piece of something, "in the victim's shoulder."

"You mean that this was INSIDE his body?" Jane asked, confused.

"A-ha. This was planted inside his muscle, most likely in a surgery. I think it's a memory card." Maura answered, looking closely at the little black thing. Jane felt that her tone was the same tone she used at the crime scene.

"Okay, I'll take it down stairs to Frost. If it is a memory card, let's hope he can get something out of it." Jane said. Maura handed a little bag with the small piece in it, and Jane left.

A few minutes later a cop in uniform opened the doors, asking "Doctor Maura Isles?"

"Yes, that's me." she said. He showed her a letter delivered to her.

"Put it next to that computer please, I'm in a middle of an autopsy." she pointed at the computer. The cop putted the letter where Maura asked him and left. When she finished the autopsy she took off the gloves and opened the letter.

_'Dear Doctor Maura Isles,_

_Yale University is glad to invite you to be a professor in one of the most prestigious university in the United States, and to teach young students the pathology work. We hope to see you on October 21__st__ at the campus to a meeting with the dean._

_Best regards,_

_Yale University Board of Directors.'_

Maura had to read the letter three times before she could digest what she read. She tried to imagine how it would be like to teach young students about her job. She was so absorbed in thoughts, and it took her a while to realize her phone was ringing.

"Doctor Maura Isles." she said.

_"Hey, it's Jane. You should come down here, see what Frost got from that memory card."_

"I'll be right there." she said and hung up. She went to her office and putted the letter inside one of the drawers, then she went down stairs to see what the detectives have so far.

* * *

"Hey." she said when she walked in the room. She walked towards Frost and said "Jane told me you've got something out of that memory card I found inside the victim's shoulder."

"Yes, and you wouldn't believe it. Our victim was an undercover cop. He tried to knock down a drug cartel." Frost said. He pressed on some buttons and the files from the memory card opened.

"There is a lot of information in here, he was probably undercover for years!" Korsak said.

"And that's not all, look," Jane said, pointing at something on the screen, "Frost, can you enlarge this picture and focus on the right lower corner?"

"Sure." he said.

"What is it Jane?" Korsak asked, looking for something suspicious. The picture was now on full screen, and then it viewed only the lower right side of the picture.

"You see this? I know this van. This van was used to kidnap a nine years old kid in south Boston a few months ago." Jane said.

"So, are you saying that not only that our victim was trying to knock down a drug cartel, he also found the van that was used in a kidnapping of a child a few months ago?" Frost asked.

"That's EXACTLY what I'm saying." Jane said.

"Excuse me, I need to go check on something." Maura said, and left the room.

Jane sighed. She wanted to go after her, to beg her to stop acting like this, but instead she just turned at Frost, said "You owe Korsak fifty dollars" and left the room.

* * *

"Angela" Maura said when she walked in the Division One Cafe.

"Maura, sweetie, how are you?" Angela said and came to hug her.

"I need to ask you something."

"What is it, you seem concerned." Angela asked.

"I have a job offered at Yale University, and I was wondering if you could take care of Bass for me if I decide to take it." Maura asked.

"Sure, of course I'll take care of him for you!" Angela said, hugging Maura.

"So for how long are you going?" Angela asked.

"I don't know yet if I'm going at all, but I guess that if I decide to go... I will be gone for a year or two." Maura said.

"It won't be the same without you, but I'm happy for you." Angela smiled. Maura gave her one last hug before she went back to the lab, to examine all the items she got from the autopsy and haven't checked yet.

* * *

"Jane, don't you think you should go home? Tomorrow is another day, the case will wait for us." Korsak said when he got ready to call it a day.

"Yeah, I will probably go soon. What's the time, anyway?" Jane asked, searching for a clock.

"Almost midnight. Go home, Jane. Goodnight." he told her.

"Goodnight Korsak." she said back, and he left. Jane stayed at her desk for a few moments, then she took her jacket, her badge and her gun and went downstairs to see Angela.

"Ma, you waited..." Jane said, hugging her mother.

"Of course I did. You asked me to." Angela said. "What is it you wanted to talk about dear?"

"I'm in so much troubles, ma..." Jane said, exhausted, and told her mom everything she had told Korsak earlier that day.

"Jane," Angela said, holding her daughter's hand, "you already know what my opinion about Charles is. He is a good guy, but you can do better. I admit that I've never thought of you and Maura as a couple, but that kind of makes sense now." Angela said. "That also explain other things too."

"What other things?" Jane asked.

"I can't tell you sweetie, this is between the both of you."

"I think you're making a huge mistake when you're choosing him over her." Angela said after a minute of silence. "Nobody, not even me, knows you better than Maura, and you know that."

"I know that, ma... I know that..." Jane hugged Angela, putting her head on her mom's shoulder.

"If you know that, why did you choose Charles?" Angela asked her quietly.

"Because, ma! Because I've been waiting for Casey to leave the army for too long, and when I finally have a chance to be with him while knowing he won't have to go back to Afghanistan... I just can't miss that chance, ma." Jane explained.

"But if you don't love him as much as you love Maura, you can't marry him. don't do that to him and to yourself, sweetie." Angela told her, holding Jane's head between her hands.

"I do love Casey, ma, I do. And I also love Maura. It's just... I can't BE with Maura." Jane tried to explain. She hated herself for wanting to cry so much lately.

"Why, Janie? Why can't you be with Maura?" Angela tried to understand.

"Because ever since I came to BPD I fought the rumors about my sexuality, and there was a lot of them. Being the only female cop in homicide department makes everyone question certain things, and after I fought all those rumors, I can't tell everyone they were right." Jane couldn't help herself. A single tear came down her cheek. Jane wiped it with her thumb.

"Oh, honey, who care about rumors? Let it go, let everything go and do what is best for you once in your life!" Angela said, looking in her daughter's eyes. Jane looked back at her mother.

"Thank you, ma." Jane said.

"So what are you going to do with Maura?" Angela said after a short silence.

"I don't know. I guess that I will just wait until she decides to open up to me again, even for a little, and then I will figure it out." Jane answered. They hugged each other one last time and left the station.


	5. Chapter 5

Sorry it took me a little while to publish this chapter, I went to a 5 days annual field trip with my class, and I had no time at all to publish this chapter before I left. I came back 2 days ago, and I came home sick. Anyway, during the trip I've had some time to write, and I've already completed 8 and a half chapters.

Enjoy reading and leave comments!

* * *

**Chapter 5**

"Everyone," Casey said. They were all in Jane's apartment. Jane herself was wearing a handmade tiara with drawings of balloons on it. She was standing next to Casey, looking at him with loving eyes, holding a glass of wine in her left hand. Her right hand was in her pocket.

"Everyone, Jane and I have an announcement to make. Not only that today it's Jane's birthday, but yesterday," he said, holding her wrist with his left hand, "yesterday was the day she agreed to marry me."

Everyone was cheering, except Maura, who was standing a few steps behind everyone. She felt that a little piece of her soul had just died.

Jane noticed that Maura was distant. After everyone saw the ring, she went and stood in front of Maura.

"Maur?" Jane said, taking her tiara off her head.

"Happy birthday Jane." Maura forced a smile on her face.

"Thank you, but you can't fool me. Not me. What is it, Maur? Did I do something to you?" Jane asked, looking in Maura's eyes, but Maura avoided looking at Jane's. They both were silent for a few moments.

"I'm leaving Boston, Jane." Maura said finally.

"Wh... Why? When?" Jane was confused.

"I was offered a job at Yale University as a professor to Pathology Studies. I'm leaving tonight."

"Yale University? What do you have to do in Connecticut?" Jane tried to understand.

"I have a lot to give, and if I can help young students get better at something that I was doing my whole life, why not to do that?" Maura explained.

"But you can't leave!"

"What do I have that worth staying?"

Jane took her outside the apartment, saying "We will be back in a minute" to everyone on their way out. They walked a few feet away from Jane's apartment.

"Well Jane, what do I have that worth staying?" Maura repeated.

"You have me!" Jane almost begged.

"Except that I don't have you. Casey has you, but not me." Maura said. She took a deep breath before she continued. "I have to be there on the 21st, so I decided it will be better for me to get there a few days earlier, so I can find a place to live in."

"Maura..."

"Stop it Jane, stop it right there. You didn't want me to make you change your mind after you chose Casey, and now I don't want you to make me change my mind after I chose Yale over you. I've had enough pain in the last six weeks, enough for an entire life." Maura said with a determined tone.

Jane was devastated. "What time are you leaving?"

"About now. My flight is in three hours."

"I... I'll walk you to your car." Jane said. They walked in silence.

They were at the door. Jane touched the doorknob, but Maura pulled her closer to her. She kissed her softly, but with passion.

"Whenever you'll think you've had no feelings to me, remember this kiss." Maura said, looking in Jane's eyes. "Goodbye Jane, and happy birthday." She said, and left the building. Jane started to cry when she saw Maura driving away.

"Jane, what is it?" Casey asked her when she entered the apartment, crying.

"Maura left." she said, "She has a flight in three hours to Connecticut. She is going to teach Pathology Studies in Yale University."

Casey hugged her, and she cried on his shoulder.

Maura sat in her seat in the plain. Yale University has sent her a first class ticket in an American Airlines plain.

_"She deserves to lose me like that."_ she thought to herself when she tightened her seat belt. "She deserves to be in pain after what I've been through because of her, and I deserve better that what she gave me." Maura couldn't help thinking those things, even though that only Jane's name was too much for Maura. She closed her eyes and was about to fall asleep until landing in Connecticut, when she heard a female voice saying "Excuse me? Could you please give me a hand?"

Maura opened her eyes and saw a woman holding a heavy handbag. The woman had a hesitating smile.

"Yes, of course." Maura said, stood up and helped the woman to put her handbag in the cabin above their heads.

"Thank you." she said while she sat down and tightened her seat belt.

"No problem at all." Maura smiled.

"I'm Alex Wolf." the woman smiled at Maura.

"I'm Doctor Maura Isles. Nice to meet you." Maura smiled back.

"Doctor? What do you do?" Alex sounded interested.

"I'm a former pathologist in BPD. I'm moving to Connecticut to teach Pathology Studies at Yale University."

"Really? Yale University? I'm a professor there as well."

"What do you teach?" Maura turned to look at her.

"American History."

"Really? I find American History fascinating and very interesting." Maura said. Alex smiled at her.

"Well, do you have a place to stay?" Alex asked her.

"Actually, no, I don't. I was told to be there on the 21st, so I decided to come earlier in a few days to find a place to live in." Maura explained.

"You can stay with me if you want. I have a spare bedroom, and I live really close to the campus."

"I don't know... I'm not really comfortable with sleeping at your place, I've just met you." Maura said.

"That's okay, don't apologize," Alex laughed, "I understand. Anyway, my door is always open." Alex said, leaned back and went to sleep. Maura gave another look at her and closed her eyes as well.

"Do you need help getting a hotel room for tonight?" Alex asked her after they were outside the airport.

"Actually, I think I will take your offer and stay at your place tonight. I've never been in Connecticut, so I have no idea where to go." Maura said.

Alex smiled at Maura and went to talk to a cab driver. She signed to Maura to come. The driver putted their suitcases in the trunk and drove according to Alex's directions.

"Welcome to my apartment. It's not much, but it's, you know, home." Alex said and helped Maura to put her suitcase in the guestroom.

"I like it." Maura said and smiled at Alex.

"Do you want something to eat?"

"Yes, that would be great."

"Are you okay with Chinese food? Because that is mainly what I can get at an hour like this." Alex laughed.

"Anything you're okay with is fine by me." Maura sat on the couch in the living room.

"So..." Maura started, "Do you live here with your husband?"

"No, I'm not married. I gave him back the ring and my blessing when I found out I was gay" Alex said.

"Wow, that must have been difficult to find out something like this after you're married." Maura said. Jane's figure came to her mind again.

"My luck was that he was very supportive. We are still in touch. He got married two years after we got divorced, and he invited me to his wedding. His kids call me _'Aunt Alex'_." she said. She didn't seem embarrassed or uncomfortable at any way, and that helped Maura to be a bit more relaxed.

"So what about you? Are you married?" Alex said, looking at Maura.

"No, I'm not married. I don't have a boyfriend, but... it's actually not that simple."

"Come on, spit it out, I've got time."

Maura looked in Alex's eyes. "I... I fell in love with my best friend. She is a detective in the homicide department in BPD. I told her that I want to give her everything I can, but she chose someone else over me." Maura looked down at her fingers.

"I'm sure that she had the wrong decision. I only know you for a few hours, but I think that no girl in the world can compare to you."

"Actually," Maura said, "she chose HIM over me, not HER. There is a guy, Casey, he is a soldier and his service is in Afghanistan. He told her that he has to give an answer about whether he is staying in the army or leaving, and he is willing to leave is she agrees to marry him. He asked her to marry him yesterday, and today is her birthday." Maura felt her voice cracking a little. "She told me that for years she kept waiting for him to leave the army, and now when there is a real chance for this to happen... she just can't miss this chance. And Jane... she is the best person I've ever met. She is kind, and caring, we've been through a lot together, we almost got murdered together once. Jane is my best friend, and for a very very long time also my only friend, and leaving Boston like this, when she begs me to stay, was the hardest thing I've ever done." Maura was crying when she finished talking.

"Oh, Maura..." Alex said and hugged her, "Don't cry, she might be the best of friends, but she is not a good reason for you to cry."

Maura wiped the tears from her cheeks and looked at Alex. She knew that Alex was right, that after all the pain she had because of Jane, she was not a reason for her to cry.

"Thank you, Alex. I... I guess I needed someone to tell this to me, someone that have never met Jane." Maura said.

Alex smiled and touched Maura's blonde hair. Maura remembered how Jane used to do the same thing, but instead of keep thinking about Jane she found herself trying to picture how it would be like to kiss Alex.

They looked at each other's eyes, Maura could breathe regularly again. The leaned closer to each other slowly, like in slow motion from a kitschy romantic comedy. When Maura's lips touched Alex's she felt like the world is better again, and her heart started to beat louder, faster and stronger.

The doorbell interrupted them.

"It must be the delivery guy with our food." Alex said and walked to open the door. She paid the delivery guy and closed the door.

"Don't you dare offering to pay for half of it, it's on me." Alex said and opened the boxes. Maura smiled and went to the kitchen to help her. They ate quietly, looking at each other once in a while.

"I want to thank you for the best evening I've had in a very long time." Maura said after they both had finished eating.

"No problem. I kind of needed that evening too. It's nice to have someone to have dinner with." Alex said.

"Well, I've had a very... tough day, so I think I'll go and get some sleep." Maura said.

"Yeah, of course. Just tell me if you need anything, my room is right next to the guestroom."

"I will, goodnight Alex, and thank you, again." Maura said and went to the guestroom.

_"Jane... Jane... Jane, come closer, I have some more bad thing to tell you..." Hoyt whispered._

_"I'm here." Jane leaned closer to Hoyt. He grabbed her neck, and she started yelling "get him off me!"_

_"Happy birthday Jane" Hoyt smiled a vicious smile while he held Jane's neck, holding her tight and gripping her to the bed._

_"I was so hoping you're smart enough to put together my clues. Was it fun? Like a murder treasure hunt?"_

_"I should've killed you when I got the chance."_

_"Yeah, you should have." Hoyt said to her, and then he held out his hand towards the guard and said "The taser." the guard gave the taser to Hoyt. Hoyt putted it on Jane's neck and said "I can turn it on if you like."_

_"No!" Maura shouted._

_Hoyt ignored her, and whispered at the same tone to Jane "I always finish what I start."_

_"He played you, Mason," Jane said to the guard, "just like he played all his little apprentices."_

_"I'm not the one wearing zip ties, detective." the guard said._

_"What was in it for you?" Maura asked him. She was sitting on another bed, cuffed in her hands and legs._

_"It was fun. The kid was all proud of himself, you know? Going off to law school, big deal. The idiot was dropping off mystery book for a serial killer." Mason said, enjoying the moment._

_"I love mysteries." Hoyt said in the same whisper._

_"So you are the one that has set up his bale?" Jane asked the guard._

_"Yeah. All he had to do for the 5K was swallow a balloon."_

_"It was too good to be true, when little Graham told me he was off to Boston College to be a Double-Eagle. I knew then he would be the perfect envelope for my letter to you..." Hoyt kept his voice at the same whispering tone. "It's time."_

_Hoyt held out his right hand that was holding the taser. Mason the guard took the taser and gave Hoyt a scalpel._

_"You killed him," Maura said to Mason, "that's why the edges of the stab wounds were so clean."_

_"That is very good, Doctor Isles." Hoyt said a little bit louder, but kept his eyes focused on Jane. "Though Rod doesn't wheeled his scalpel with the same finesse, he did get Graham here, so I could be here with you.  
I'm dying, and I want company. I think I'm gonna take you and Doctor Isles with me." Hoyt said, and cut a two inches long cut on Jane's neck._

_Maura cried and looked away, as Jane struggled not to show Hoyt she was in pain._

_Maura was screaming. She yelled Jane's name, begging Hoyt not to touch her. She heard a voice, calling her name._

_"Maura, Maura..."_

"Maura! Maura, wake up!"

Maura opened her eyes. She was terrified. Out of all of her nightmares about Hoyt, this was the most realistic one, and the most horrifying.

"Maura, it's okay... it's me, Alex, I'm right next to you..." Alex hugged her.

"It's... it was just a nightmare, oh thank god it was a nightmare..." Maura said and started to cry.

"What happened? I heard you screaming Jane's name in panic and ran over here, and I found you like this."

"I..." she started, but it was hard to go on, "Jane and I, we've had a nearly death experience. It was an old, dying psychopath, who was hunting her, and he wasn't going to stop until he gets her. That day we would be both dead if her partners weren't coming in to save us, or if she would have stabbed him." Maura said, sobbing. "It was just so real, almost like being there again, with him, holding that scalpel and cutting her neck..."

"Shh... it will pass, I promise you that it will pass..." Alex said, hugging Maura and stroking her hair.

"Would you," Maura started, but had to take a few deep breaths before she could speak again, "Would you please stay here with me tonight?"

"Of course I will, I'll be right back, I left the lights on in my bedroom." Alex said and left the room. She came back a few seconds later. She climbed to the bed and Maura putted her head on Alex's shoulder. She stayed awake until Maura fell asleep again, and she hugged her for the rest of the night.

Maura felt a sunbeam blinding her. She opened her eyes and saw an unfamiliar room. It took her a few seconds to realize that she was at Alex's guestroom, and that it was Alex who was lying next to her.

"Good morning." Alex said, kissing Maura's forehead. "How did you sleep?"

"Well, except the part I woke up screaming at the middle of the night because a serial killer who almost murdered me and Jane came to me in my dream, I've had a pretty quiet night." Maura said, smiling at Alex. She felt good and safe again.

"Want to go out and get some breakfast?"

"I don't know, I think that I rather stay here after that awful night I've had."

"Okay, your call." Alex sat up.

"Alex?" Maura said after a while.

"What?"

"Maybe it's too soon to say it, but I think that I like you." Maura said, looking at Alex's eyes, "Like you a lot, actually."

"That's okay, Maura." Alex kissed her. "I like you a lot, too."

"Good morning." Casey said when he walked in the kitchen at Jane's apartment. Jane was already there, drinking coffee.

"Good morning." she said. She stared at her cup.

"Still thinking about Maura?" he sat next to her.

"Yes..." Jane sighed. "I mean, how could she just leave like that? She said that there was no reason for her to stay. After everything we've been through, I would say that I'm quite a good reason."

"You can't blame her, she's had some terrible few weeks."

"But still, you'd expect your best friend not to leave like that, especially not on your birthday." Jane finished her coffee and went back to bed.

"Don't you have work today?" Casey called after her.

"Call Cavanaugh and tell him that I'm sick and taking the day off." she said and covered herself with the blanket.


	6. Chapter 6

Sorry it took me a little while to publish this chapter, but I've veen very busy with school lately.

Anyway - enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 6**

"It was lovely to talk to you. I believe that you will do great this year, and we hope that if you will like Yale University and to teach our students, you will also decide to stay here longer." the dean told Maura at the end of their meeting.

"Thank you very much. I will give myself this year as a try, and at the end I will decide whether to stay longer or go back to Boston." Maura said. They shook hands and he escorted her to the door.

Alex was waiting for her outside the dean's office. The dean greeted her and the girls left together, holding hands only after they saw the dean entering his office again.

* * *

"Rizzoli, my office, now." Cavanaugh said. Both Jane and Frankie turned back and looked at Cavanaugh, who was pointing at Jane. She put on her desk the files she was holding and went to Cavanaugh's office, closing the door after herself.

"Sir?" she asked.

"Rizzoli, what the hell is going on with you?" he said, frustrated. Jane looked at him, she wasn't sure about his intentions.

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about you being distant, not focused at work. Most of your cases in the last five weeks were closed thanks to sergeant Korsak and detective Frost. It also seems like you've lost any drop if interest in autopsies and their results." Cavanaugh looked at her. He sighed as Jane sat down and said "Does it all related to the fact that doctor Isles has left and moved to Connecticut?"

"Look, lieutenant, I really don't think that you're the right person to have this conversation with, with all due respect." Jane said, looking at him.

"I understand that Rizzoli, but if you want to keep your golden badge than you'd better start doing your job." he said and raised his hand, showing her way out.

"Yes, of course, sir." Jane said and went to the door.

"Rizzoli," he said. Jane turned around. "I don't want to put you back in evidence management, so don't force me to do that, okay?"

Jane nodded and stepped out of his office. She went back to her desk, checking the autopsy files of the body.

* * *

"Maura?"

"Yes?"

"Do we have any special plans for Christmas?" Alex asked Maura, sitting on the sofa next to her.

"Well, I haven't planned anything, so unless you have any plans I think that the answer is no." Maura said, smiling at her. "Why are you asking?"

"Because my ex-husband invited us to spend Christmas with him and his wife and kids in their house in Boston." Alex said.

Maura took some time to think. Going back to Boston can also mean meeting Jane again, and even though she is dating Alex for almost two months, she wasn't sure if she is ready. It seemed like Alex realized it as well.

"Oh, right, I forgot all about it... I'm so sorry Maura, I shouldn't have even offered it." Alex apologized immediately.

"That's fine, really." Maura held her hand, "I just don't... I can't tell for sure if I'm ready to see Jane again."

"Yeah, of course. I'll tell him we can't come." Alex said, looking down at her hand. "So, do you want to go somewhere instead?"

"You know what? I think," Maura put her hand on Alex's cheek, "that maybe we should just stay here, alone. We will have quite a long time with no students coming over, asking for help, or no tests or paperworks to grade. We will be just the two of us, all alone."

They smiled at each other, and Alex kissed her.

* * *

Jane and Casey were sitting in their living room, which used to be Jane's living room.

"So we have three options, right? January 31st, May 2nd or August 23rd."

"Yes, there are the only dates you can take a long term vacation from work, and everyone in my family can come." Casey said. "Do you have any preferences?"

"Yeah, I'm thinking about May 2nd. August is way too far, but January 31st is in about two weeks. And we can't plan a wedding in two weeks."

"So May 2nd it is, then." Casey said. He smiled at her and Jane kissed him.

* * *

"Angela! What a lovely surprise!" Maura said and smiled. She saw Angela smiling at her on her laptop screen.

"Maura! I'm so glad I asked Frost to install Skype on my laptop. How are you? How is it like in Yale?" Angela asked with enthusiasm.

"Oh, Angela, it's great. I love my students, they are so smart and passionate about pathology, it seems like they are thirsty for my knowledge, and my knowledge only." Maura smiled.

"Where are you staying? Maybe I'll come visit you some time."

"I'm living with my, uh..." Maura started.

"Who is he, Maura? Tell me all about him." Angela straightened up.

"Well, 'he' is actually a 'she'. Her name is Alex Wolf, she is also a professor at Yale, she teaches American History, and she is absolutely great." Maura finished.

"So I see that you are over with everything that had happened here before you left." Angela smiled. She was glad to see that Maura is okay again.

"Yes, I think so." Maura smiled. She missed Angela, who was like a mother to her.

* * *

"I can't believe you're getting married." Frankie said while he watched the tailor taking Jane's measures for the wedding dress.

"Why are you so surprised?" Jane said, slightly offended.

"Because... you're my big sister. And if you're getting married that means that soon ma will start sending her 'thin hints' to me." he explained.

"Why are you even here?" Jane asked.

"Ma couldn't come, so she asked me to come instead."

"Don't you have a case to work on?"

"Don't you?"

"Don't you still have something to prove to Cavanaugh?" Jane stung him.

"Ouch." Frankie rubbed his shoulder, as if she punched him.

* * *

"Maura, you've got a letter." Alex said as she walked in their apartment.

"For me? Who is it from?" Maura said, wondering, as she opened the envelope. She read the letter out loud.

_'We are getting married, and we want you to be there!_

_Jane Rizzoli and Charles Jones are thrilled to invite you to their wedding on May 2__nd__, at Fenway Park - the Boston Red Sox ballpark._

_Reception at 7 PM_

_Ceremony at 8:30 PM_

_We hope to see you at our wedding!_

_Jane & Charles'_

"Are you going, or are we going, or...?" Alex said.

"I... I don't know. I mean, I knew that they will get married, they were engaged when I left, but after the way I left I thought she won't invite me at all." Maura said.

"You know what I think? I think that Jane wants her best friend back." Alex said. Maura looked up, looking at Alex's eyes. "It's okay, really. I've accepted the fact that she will always be your best friend, I've accepted it a long time ago, probably on the day we met."

"It's not even that... I don't think I still have feelings for her, but I just know that I can't handle watching her making the biggest mistake of her life. He caused her so much pain over the years, she practically had to beg him to accept the option for a relationship between them." Maura said, emotionally exhausted. She felt she has to sit down, and collapsed on the couch.

"If you want to go, then I'll come with you, and if you don't, we'll figure something out. Maybe I will go alone and tell her that I'm your girlfriend, but you had to stay here in Connecticut because you're sick or something." Alex suggested.

"Will you do that for me?" Maura said, hopefully.

"Of course I will! I will do anything you'll ask me to do." Alex said. Maura was flattered. She sat up and kissed her, softly, but passionately.

* * *

"Casey? Are you home?" Jane asked. She stood in the hallway and put her head in the apartment.

"In the bedroom." he said.

"Is there a chance that you'll go to the bathroom for a minute? I'm holding the dress, and you can't see it." Jane said.

"Sure." he said and came out of the bedroom. He smiled at her at stepped in the bathroom, closing the door. Jane ran to the bedroom, put the dress in the closet, well hidden, and then said "Okay, you can come back now."

"Am I out of punishment?" he laughed.

"Well, you HAVE been a really, really, bad boy after all..." she said and laughed. He put his hands on Jane's waists, pulling her closer and kissing her.

* * *

"Maura?" Alex said, hesitating.

"Yes?" Maura took her eyes off the laptop screen.

"Are you absolutely sure that you don't want to go to Jane's wedding? Because I can get another flight ticket in a minute."

"I..." Maura said. She really had no idea if she could handle watching Jane marrying Casey.

"Maura, listen to me." Alex said, looking in her eyes. "If you ask me – I think you should come to Boston. You can decide there if you are going or not, but if tomorrow you decide that you want to come, you won't have that chance anymore."

"I... you're right." Maura sighed.

"I'll call the airline and tell them to add a ticket." Alex smiled and went to make the call.

Maura closed her laptop and went to the closet. She already had in mind what she will wear – she had a dress she bought a few years ago and she promised herself that she will wear it for the first time when Jane will get married. She opened her suitcase and started packing.

* * *

"Ma?" Jane said. She was sitting with Angela at the One Division Cafè.

"Yes?"

"Do you think that Maura will come to the wedding?"

"Oh, honey, I really don't know." Angela said, comforting her daughter.

"I sent an invitation. I got her address from Yale University, I called them a month ago." Jane said, looking at her coffee.

"Honey, the wedding is in less than two weeks, and you have a lot going on in your mind. If you ask me – you shouldn't show up for work until after the wedding." Angela said and got back to work. Jane gave another look around before she left the cafè to go back home.

* * *

"I want you to meet my ex-husband, if it's okay with you." Alex said when she and Maura tightened their seat belts and got ready for taking off.

"I'd love to." Maura smiled at her.

"Are you okay? You seem a bit nervous." Alex said, looking at Maura with a concerned look.

"Yes, yes, it's just... seeing Jane again won't be easy, I guess." Maura said, inconveniently laughing.

"It will be just fine. And if you think you can't handle it than we will sit in the back and leave early." Alex calmed her down.

"I know, I know, just - " Maura started, she didn't know how to finish the sentence.

"Just... thank you, for coming with me, and for supporting me in such a hard time, and for offering me to stay in your apartment less than four hours after we met, and... just thank you, for everything you've done for me." Maura finally said what she wanted to say. They smiled at each other, and despite the fact that they were both should be sitting and wait for taking off, Alex leaned at her and kissed her for a minute, but Maura wanted the plane to stop moving so she could kiss her some more, so this moment will last as long as possible.

* * *

"Casey?" Jane said as she walked in their apartment.

"Jane?" Casey said, surprised. He was in the kitchen, making himself something to eat.

"Hey..." she said, frustrated, and let him hug her.

"What happened? Why aren't you at work?" he asked, worried.

"My mom told me that she thinks I shouldn't be showing up for work until after the wedding, and my mind is so..." she said, and then she changed her tone, but it was more desperate this time. "Do you think that Maura will come?"

"I don't know, I really don't know Jane... I hope for you that she will, if that's what you want." he said and gave her a soft kiss on the top of her head.

"I think I'll go to her house, to feed Bass. It feels as if she is there when I come and see him." she said and left the apartment.

* * *

"So," Maura said after they got their suitcases, "would you rather stay in a hotel or at my house?"

"I think that at your house." Alex said and laughed.

"So I will just have to call Angela to make sure that no one is there, because honestly I'm not in the mood for anybody, except of you." she said and took her phone out of her purse. She talked with Angela for a few minutes, and when she hung up she said "No one is supposed to be there, so come on, let's go."

They went in one of the cabs and the driver put their suitcases in the baggage. Maura gave him her address and he started driving.

"Don't stop! Keep on driving!" Maura said when the cab entered her street.

"Where to?" the driver asked.

"Just keep driving. Take us to the nearest four stars hotel." Maura said. Alex looked at her with a very confused look.

"Jane's car is parking in front of my house, my guess is that Angela asked her to feed Bass."

"My tortoise." she added when she saw Alex's confused look again.

"Oh," Alex said, "well, what will you do? My guess is that she misses you, and will stay there for a little while."

"I know, I'll call Angela when she will get home, she lives in my guest house." Maura said, looking back at her house as the cab took a turn left. She felt a little sad, she did miss her house after all.

"Thank you." Maura said to the driver as he dropped them off at a hotel. She handed him the money and he drove off.

* * *

"Jane?" Casey said when he walked in the apartment.

"Yes?" she muted the TV and turned her head to look at him.

"I got you something." he said, a smile on his face.

"What is it?" she asked, exited.

He put his hand in his pocked. When he took his hand out he was holding two flight tickets.

"Oh, my god! Casey!" Jane said and kissed him. "Is this our honeymoon?"

"Ten days in Hawaii, because I know you've never been there." he smiled.

"Aww, Casey..." she said and kissed him again.


	7. Chapter 7

I'm back with a brand new chapter! You would never believe what I've been through to bring this one to you, guys. Two days ago I planned to publish this chapter, but I went to my best friend's house right after school. The moment I got to his house I saw that I lost my USB flash drive, with the only copy of this story! I have'nt found it yet, but what I DID find is an old back-up I saved on my cell-phone, with this chapter in it! The back-up ended at the middle of chapter 8 (which is very, very long, by the way), and I was sure that I lost chapter 9 for good with no option to get a back-up, because I thought I did not write it in handwriting first, but apparently I DID WRITE IT IN HANDWRITING FIRST! Actually, I wrote a part of it in handwriting, so I have to fill up the voids.  
Just so you'll all know - chapter 9 was so perfect, that even when I transfered it to my computer I did not chage even a single word, unlike all the other chapters. It was one of my favourite chapters (until I wrote chapters 11 and 12), and I almost cried when I thought I could'nt find a back-up for this chapter.  
And because I want you to be as happy as I am - Here is chapter 7!  
Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 7**

Maura was nervous. She was ready to go – she was wearing the dress she had promised Jane she would wear, she had her favorite high hills on her feet, she look absolutely...

"...Beautiful. Maura, you look gorgeous." Alex said when Maura came out of the bedroom. Maura looked at Alex, who was sitting on the sofa.

"Oh, shut up. I'm surprised you've never been on the cover of ELLE or VOGUE." Maura said, smiling at her.

Alex stood up. "You," she said as she got closer to Maura, "are the most beautiful, smart, caring and loving person I've ever met."

"Don't exaggerate." Maura said, putting her hands on Alex's waists.

"I would have totally kiss you right now, but we have to go or else we are late." Alex said, putting her hands on Maura's neck.

"Oh, you would kiss me now?" Maura said.

"Yes, I would."

"Fine, do it then. I would rather anyway not to be at the reception." Maura teased her. She remembered that Jane called her a teaser once, but this memory was pushed away when Alex started talking again.

"Well, that means we have another..." Alex looked at her watch, "half an hour, maybe."

"Oh, that's plenty of time for me." Maura gave her another teasing look.

Alex kissed her. They walked to the sofa, crushing themselves on it, and they still haven't stopped kissing.

"Come on, we have to go." Alex said after a little more than a half an hour. They both stood up, tidied their dresses and went down to the lobby.

* * *

"Okay, where do you want to sit? The front? The back?" Alex whispered in Maura's ear shortly before the ceremony started.

"The back, and at the middle of the row, not the last one but the one in front of her." Maura whispered back. They went to catch a seat only after most of the chairs were already taken, so they won't be noticed by either Tommy, Frankie, Frost or Korsak, even though Maura wanted to see them again, just not under those circumstances.

After everyone was seated the pianist started to play the Wedding Marsh. Casey was standing near the pastor. He was in his wedding suit and he looked like the most happy man in the world.

Maura wondered who will be the bridesmaids and the maid of honor. There was no one standing near Casey as the best man, so she figured that they gave up on this idea. Tommy and Frankie were there, though, but they were standing a bit distant from where the best man should be standing.

The pianist played a bit louder. Everyone turned around to look at Jane. Her father was one her left side, and Angela was on her right.

Maura felt some sort of ache in her stomach, a kind of ache she have never felt before. She wasn't able to watch the ceremony, but she woke herself up from her thoughts when the pastor asked Casey if will take Jane as his wife.

"I do." he said. He had a smile on his face, the biggest smile of all.

"Jane Clementine Rizzoli, will you take Charles Jones to be your husband..."

Maura knew that Jane is making a mistake.

"I do."

"You can kiss the bride." the pastor said, and so Casey did. As they kissed each other for the first time as a married couple everyone was cheering.

"I can't stay here, please, lets go." Maura whispered in Alex's ear. Alex nodded, and said "I think she should wait a little, until everyone is standing up, or else someone will see you here."

"You're right..." Maura said. They waited for another few minutes, until everyone started to stand up, and then they both stood up as well and left.

* * *

"I need to leave Boston, tonight." Maura said to Alex after they entered in a cab.

"Yeah, I thought you might say that. The tickets are open, we can change the date if we want."

"I need to go to my house first." Maura said.

"Of course, anything you want." Alex calmed her down. Maura started to breath heavily.

"Maura, Maura, look at me – " Alex said, holding Maura's chin between her thumb and finger, "relax, okay? Just relax. I don't think anybody saw us there, it's okay, just relax..."

Maura helped herself from crying, but only barely. She hoped that Jane is happy and will always be happy, but she was angry that Casey is the one who's making her happy, after all the pain he caused her.

When they arrived to the hotel they asked the driver to wait for them. They went up to their room and packed their suitcases as fast as possible, and then went back to the lobby to check out. Maura gave the cab driver her address and he drove there immediately.

"Is there anything I can help with?" Alex asked.

"No, just stay here, I'll be back in ten minutes top." Maura said and rushed in to her house. She had her key in her purse like always, even though she was living in Connecticut. She rushed in to her bedroom to take the picture of her and Jane, the one that was always on her nightstand. She took as fast as possible everything she needed and wanted to take to Connecticut, gave Bass a kiss and a cucumber and left her house, locking the door after she was out.

"To the airport please, fast." she said to the driver after she was in the cab again, and he drove off.

* * *

"Ma? Have you seen Maura anywhere around?" Jane asked her mother after a few dances.

"I..."

"Mom?" Jane said.

"She was here with someone, they only came for the ceremony and they left a few minutes after it ended." Angela said. Jane wasn't sure whether she should be happy that Maura came to her wedding after all, or to be sad that she didn't even say hello or goodbye.

"She was wearing the dress, you know. The dress she had promised you she would wear on your wedding day." Angela said after a minute of silence.

"She did?" Jane said, half smile on her face.

"Yes, she did. I think that she left early because you haven't solved anything between you two, and you should do that. don't lose her, Jane. I know how much she means to you." Angela said.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but I wanted to ask my wife for a dance, maybe?" Casey said.

"Sure, but hang on a second. Charles," Angela said, looking at Casey, "I told you once that if you turn her to a decent woman than I will call you in any name you want, so," she said and raised her champagne glass a little higher in the air, "welcome to the family, _Casey_."

"Oh my god, my mom has just called you Casey." Jane said as Angela walked away.

"She had to keep her promise, wasn't she?" he laughed and took her back to the dance floor.

* * *

"Maura? Are you okay?" Alex asked her after they left the airport.

"I'm... fine." she answered.

"That's the sixth 'fine' in the last hour, you are not _fine _Maura." Alex looked at her. Maura didn't know how to even start to say what she felt. She kept quiet until they arrived to Alex's apartment.

"I..." she started to talk, but got stuck.

"Sit down, talk to me, and relax." Alex said. Maura took off her dress and looked for a pajama.

"It's just... only when she said _'I do'_ I really realized that she is getting married, that she _is_ married. And after what we have been through, it's still hard to know that it's him, after all the pain and the tears, it's eventually him." Maura said. Her voice cracked and she started crying.

"I guess that she is a masochist or something, if she married him after everything you've said he had done to her." Alex tried to comfort her.

"She is not, she is just blinded by him. I don't hate Casey, not at all, I just think that Jane can do better." Maura said, wiping her tears.

"It might be, but she chose to marry him, didn't she? So she has to make this mistake alone, and that's it." Alex said.

"But she doesn't have to make it alone. I was there for her, every time. Every time he left and went back to Afghanistan, every time agent Dean had to go away because he had a big case, and every time they came back to Boston, I was there." Maura said, starting to cry again.

"Look, Maura... I don't know what to say, I really don't, I just want you to stop crying and to be happy..." Alex said as she hugged Maura.

"I know, I know, and I'm so, so sorry..." Maura said, but she couldn't stop crying.

"You know what?" Maura said after a few minutes, "I'm done with this. You're right – Jane made her choice, and if I think that she is making a mistake than it's her problem, and not mine."

"That's my girl..." Alex said, smiling. Maura smiled at her back. A few last tears were slowly streaming down her cheeks and she wiped them up.

"I love you." Alex said after a minute of silence.

It was a surprise to Maura. They both haven't said it yet, even though it was obvious that this is how they both felt. She didn't expect it, but she was flattered and felt loved.

"Is it still too soon?" Alex said, hesitating and inconveniently laughing.

"No, not at all, it's just... surprising, but in a good way. And I do love you, don't think the opposite even for a minute." Maura said.

They looked at each other for a little while, and then Maura stood up and said "Come with me."

"Where to?" Alex asked, a little confused.

"The bedroom, you are getting rewarded tonight." Maura said simply.

* * *

"Good morning, Mrs. Jones." Casey said when they woke up.

"Yeah, right. If I won't stick to the name Rizzoli the entire unit will laugh at me, and I won't feel like the same detective anymore." she said and kissed him. "But you can call me like that at home."

"Fine by me." he smiled and she kissed him again.

* * *

"Good morning, sunshine." Maura woke Alex up.

"Can I just say... wow? I mean, this was the best sex I've ever had. Ever." Alex said.

"Stop it, I'm blushing." Maura faked an over flattered tone and kissed her. "Coffee – here or outside?"

"Hmm..." Alex thought, "No where, lets just stay in bed. It's Saturday."

"Fine by me." Maura said and cuddled her.

* * *

"Rizzoli." Jane reluctantly answered her phone.

_"Jane, it's Frost. Look, I know you're probably busy, but I really need your help in this case. Korsak and I are completely lost without you and Maura. Could you just stop by for a few minutes?"_

Jane looked at her watch and sighed. "Fine... but you owe me one."

_"If you're coming, I owe you more than just one."_

She hung up. "I got to go to the station, Frost and Korsak need me with something, I'll be back in less than an hour and a half, promise." she said and kissed Casey goodbye.

* * *

"Show me the case." she said when she entered the squad room. Korsak handed her the files. She read them all, quietly.

"Start talking, what do we have?"

"A dead man's body in a men's room in a local bar. The victim is fifty years old, never lived outside of Boston. All of our suspects have solid alibis, no DNA of the body or near the body, no prints, no lead." Frost said the last two words with frustration.

"What about the family? Wife? Kids?" Jane asked.

"A son, law student at Yale, a sophomore, and a daughter, freshman, studies psychiatry in BCU, both on full scholarships. His wife is currently in the UK for business, left a week before the murder and was supposed to be back only in two days, but she came earlier because of the murder." Korsak said.

"So no leads?" Jane said, thinking.

"Not even a single one." Frost said.

"Okay, talk to me. Where have you been so far?" Jane asked, walking back and forth in the squad room.

"We talked with people in the gym he used to go to, his church, his office, neighbors, his friends, his wife's friends, his daughter and her friends at BCU..." Frost said.

"So basically, everywhere?" Jane concluded.

"Yes." Korsak said.

"Maybe it was random?" Jane said.

"It wasn't, I can promise you that. He was shot in his head, execution style." Korsak said.

"So it was personal..." Jane said, thinking to herself. "I don't see some of the parts of the autopsy in here."

"Yeah, doctor Pike only did, well, what he always does. We had to ask him to do a lot of tests Maura used to do in every case, but he didn't do." Frost said. Jane rolled her eyes.

"This case isn't going to be an easy one, let's give it a few more days." she said, went to the elevator, and to her car. She drove back to her apartment with a clear intention to stay in bed until she has to get out of it.

* * *

"Maura?" Alex said and stopped. They were walking down the street on their way back to Alex's apartment from a coffee house.

"Yes?" Maura said, stopping as well and looking at her.

Alex took Maura's hand and held it. She looked up, looking in Maura's eyes. "It was a great evening."

"I know, I've had a great time too." Maura said. She pulled Alex close to her, held her by her waist and kissed her.

The street was quite, there wasn't even a single car driving down that street. They could have kept kissing for hours, even days.

"Come on, let's go home. We both have classes in the morning." Alex said after a while.

"Okay." Maura said. They continued to walk back to Alex's apartment. "But for your information, that excuse does not apply in bed." she looked at Alex, who was looking back at her, smiling.

* * *

I know this chapter is shorter than usual, but chapter 8 is extremely long. I mean in - I have'nt finished to rewrite the back-up, and I', already on the 10th page (!)

Hope you liked the chapter, because a new one is coming sooner than you think!

Keep Posted!


	8. Chapter 8

As I promised - chapter 8 is here!

I think I'll make it a routine, publishing a new chapter every Sunday.

Anyway - enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 8**

"That will be all for today, the class is over." Maura said to the students. They all stood up, picking up their stuff and leaving the room.

"Uhm, doctor Isles?" Maura heard someone saying. She turned around to see who was talking to her, and saw a young man looking at her, half smiling.

"Yes Mr. Hawthorn?" Maura said. She looked at him, smiling at her, yet he looked a bit shy.

"I was just wondering about something." he said, "You've had – in my opinion – the best job in Boston, and you gave it up to come and teach young students here. I was just wondering why someone would give up the job of the chief medical examiner of BPD to be a professor in Yale."

"I've had... I've had several reasons, some are too personal and private to share with a student, but I can say that I was excited about teaching young, smart students Pathology Studies, because I have a lot to teach and you have a lot to learn. I knew I can give a lot, help students to become medical examiners, and I wanted at least to try." she said.

"Well, I'm glad you're here, teaching us, because I've learned so much from you in the past seven months, even though it seems like you gave up the best job in the world, or at least in Boston." he said. He still looked shy.

"Well, thank you very much, Mrs. Hawthorn." Maura said. He smiled at her and went out to the hallway.

_'Wow, seven months...'_ Maura thought to herself.

"Knock knock." a voice woke Maura up from her thoughts.

"Oh, hey." she said. Alex was on the door, smiling at her.

"I'm kind of hungry, so I was wondering if you'd join me for lunch."

"Uh..." Maura said, "Sure, just let me pick up my stuff."

* * *

"Casey? Are you here?" Jane said when she walked in the apartment. There was no answer.

"Looks like it's only me and Jo Friday." she said to herself. She sat on the couch and whistled. Jo Friday ran to her and sat on Jane's lap. A few minutes later someone knocked on the door. Jane stood up and went to open it.

"Hello Jane, I haven't seen you in a while."

"Ian?" Jane said. She hugged him shortly. "Uh... come in, how are you?"

"I'm fine, I'm great actually. I can see you've got married." he pointed at her ring.

"Yes, I have. It happened only a few days ago."

"That's great." he said.

"Do... do you want to sit down? Drink something?" she said after a short silence.

"No, thank you. Actually I came here to ask you if you know where can I find Maura. I went to her house but she wasn't there." he said.

"Uh..." Jane didn't know what to say. It was Ian, after all, and she was sure that Maura will tell him that she had moved.

"What is it?" he asked, confused a little.

"Maura left Boston seven months ago. She moved to Connecticut to teach Pathology Studies in Yale." Jane said, opening a bottle of beer.

"Yale? Wow, that's amazing." he said.

"Well, do you have a place to stay? I can talk to my mom, she lives in Maura's guest house."

"No, I think that maybe it's time for me to see Connecticut." he smiled. They said goodbye to each other and he left. When Jane closed the door she thought about Maura.

_'If she was at the wedding, like Ma said, how come she didn't even say a word to me? And I haven't even seen her there...'_

She missed Maura in her life, she missed her more than anything else in the world, and knowing that she is the reason for Maura's leaving Boston was the most painful thing.

* * *

"Doctor Isles" Maura said when she answered her phone.

"Hello, beautiful."

"Ian? Is that you?" she said, excited and shocked.

"This is indeed me. I went to your house, but you weren't there, so I went to see Jane and she told me that you've moved to Connecticut, so I'm currently at the airport, on my way to Connecticut." he said.

"Wel... I... I don't know what to say, it's just..." she looked at Alex washing the dishes and lowered her voice. "I'm not quite... single, anymore."

"Oh, I see."

"But I do want to see you though." she said quickly.

"On a scale of one to ten, when one is first date and ten is marriage, how much _'not single'_ are you?" he asked.

"About seven..." Maura said.

"Seems like I still have a chance. I'll catch the first plane I can. See you in a few hours. Text me your address." he said and hung up.

"Alex?" Maura said after Ian hung up.

"Yes, what is it?" Alex said. Maura went to the kitchen.

"Uhm..."

"Just say it." Alex said. She putted the knife down on the counter and looked in Maura's eyes.

"There is a man, a friend of mine, and he is coming here to see me, he is taking a flight tonight." Maura said.

"Okay..." Alex said, waiting for Maura to continue.

"The thing is..." Maura said. She walked a few steps and stopped right next to Alex. "Ian and I... we... he was the love of my life for a very long time, but after the last time he left and went back to Africa I just forced myself to get over him." she stopped to breathe and held Alex's hands. "It's different now, I do still love him and I always will, because the time I spent with him in Ethiopia was so special to me and I will never forget that time, or Ian."

"I don't think I get your point. If you say that it's different now, than I believe you Maura." Alex said.

"Ian and I... we are very hard to explain, it was and still is very complicated between us. You have to understand that no matter what will happen, I love you, and the reason I'm saying this is..." she took a very deep breath before she continued talking, "every time we saw each other we ended up having sex."

"Oh," Alex said, "I think that now I've got your point."

"Look, I... I don't even know how to explain him, or me and him, because we've never actually gave it a name or a definition. All I can say for sure is that I love you, I swear I do, with all my heart, but..." Maura had no idea how to finish this sentence.

"But?" Alex tried to make her talk.

"But... I don't know, I really don't know what will happen, I just know that I love you more than anything else in the world." Maura had finally found the words.

"Are you saying you might cheat on me, with Ian?" Alex asked. There were many things in her voice, but confusion and more shocked than she has ever been.

"I might, but... I don't even know how to start to explain, or apologize, or, or... I don't even know if I'll want to sleep with him, or even to kiss him. I just know I've missed him. I haven't seen him in almost three years." Maura felt her voice breaking.

"Maura... I hate it when you start crying, I can't be mad at you when you're crying..." Alex said, hugging Maura.

"I'm just so... confused! He comes after three years, goes to Jane's apartment and asking her where can he find me, and then jumps on a plane to Connecticut!" Maura said, tears streaming down her face.

"Look, Maura..." Alex said, looking at her. Maura looked back at her with the saddest face Alex have ever seen. "Just... don't do something you'll regret later, okay? That's the only way I can put my thoughts and feelings right now into words."

"I promise. And I promise that I will try as hard as possible, and more than that, not to cheat on you. You've been so good to me ever since we met..." Maura said, trying not to cry, but fails.

"I love you Maura, I love you... please stop crying..." Alex tried to calm her down. Maura putted her head on Alex's shoulder as Alex hugged her. They just stood like that for a while, until Maura finally stopped crying.

* * *

the doorbell rang.

"One minute!" Maura said. She went to the bathroom to wash her face and Alex opened the door.

"Hello, does Maura here?" Ian said, smiling.

"Yes, she is in the bathroom. You must be Ian." Alex said and showed him in.

"I am Ian, yes. Maura haven't told me what's your name." he said.

"I'm Alex, nice to meet you." she said and shook the hand he had offered her.

"Ian?" Maura said when she came out of the bathroom.

"Maura," he said and hugged her, "it's so good to see you again."

"Ian, why won't we go somewhere we can talk? There's... there are things that need to be said." Maura said.

"Okay, sure. You know the area, so take the lead." he said.

"I'll be back tonight, I promise. We just have to talk things out." Maura said to Alex on her way out. Alex nodded and gave Maura a kiss goodbye.

* * *

"Ian..." Maura tried to start when they found a seat in a small coffee house. "Look – I love Alex, I love her more than... than anything, but I do still have feeling for you, I can deny it."

"So what were you thinking about?" he said.

"I... Alex and me, we are together since my first day here in Connecticut, and she was nothing but loving, and supportive, and caring, and good to me. She is... she is the medication to the pain I've had when I left Boston."

"Why did you leave Boston?" he asked. He didn't take his eyes off hers, not even for a second.

Maura didn't say a thing. She was quiet and looked at her fingers, until she finally said "Jane."

"Okay... can you explain?" he asked, laughing a little.

"I... Jane and I, we've had some kind of an affair, but she chose Casey. I was hurt, and I told her she is making the biggest mistake of her life, choosing him, after all the pain he caused her, but she decided to marry him, and I've got a job offer to be a professor in Yale, so I decided it was a great opportunity to leave and to do something I've never done before." she said, finally looking in his eyes.

"Wow, that's quite a story. I see that a lot has changed since the last time I saw you." he said.

"Yes, I... I've never pictured myself having a relationship with a woman until that night with Jane. We got drunk and videotaped ourselves making out in my bedroom, and at the morning after we kissed because I thought it could be my 'something new of the day', but I guess it was all just a big mistake."

"Mistake?" he asked, trying to understand.

"Well, not entirely, because otherwise I wouldn't have accepted the job in Yale, and I wouldn't have met Alex, so there is a good thing in this whole thing." she said.

"Maura..." he started. She looked at him, waiting for him to go on. "Maura, I think you shouldn't be with anybody right now. I can see that you're into so much right now, I think you should spend some time alone, without me or Alex or anyone, only during classes." he said.

"You don't get it..." she said.

"Explain it to me than."

"What Alex and I have... it's beyond explanations, it's what I've always pictured I'd have with you, in the future, but without the marriage part. We are not married, and for now we have no plans to get married, but we're good the way it is now."

"I do understand it, but I think that you have so much going on in your mind, a lot of problems you haven't solved or tried to solve, and I can tell that it's serious because you left Boston because of this mess. And you have also left Jane, and that means something." he said.

"Look, I know what Jane means to you, she is your best friend, even if you two had a fight or an affair that ended in a bad way, but she is Jane, and as much as I remember – this used to be enough for you."

"Enough for what?"

"Enough to take a week, or just a few days, for yourself only." he said, and he immediately regret saying anything. Maura seemed mad and confused. "I'm sorry, I guess I shouldn't have said anything. It's your choice, after all, the ball is in your hands. Look, I'm not leaving until, well, it was supposed to be until next week, but now I think I'll stay until you'll be sure about everything in your life. I'll be anywhere you want, whether it's in your apartment on the couch or back in Boston, just say the word."

"Maura." Ian said when they left the coffee house. She turned around and looked at him. "I'm going to get a room in a hotel, I'll find something. Just... take care."

"I will." she said.

"Can I kiss you goodbye, for now?" he asked politely.

"I..." she was arguing with herself. "A quick one, don't make me feel guilty for doing that."

He kissed her softly, like barely touching her lips, and then he said goodnight and caught a cab.

* * *

When Maura came back to Alex's apartment the lights were out. She went to the bedroom and found Alex lying on the bed. She couldn't decide if she is asleep, so she took off her shoes quietly and joined Alex in bed, hugging her.

"Aren't you planning to put on a pajama instead of your dress?" Alex asked.

"You're awake." Maura said. Alex turned around to look at her.

"How was your talk with Ian?" she asked, emotionlessly.

"It was... fine." Maura said, avoiding from giving a real answer.

"Okay. Are you sleeping with your dress?"

"No."

"So hurry up, I want to go to sleep and if you'll get dressed in the dark you'll probably hit your toe with something."

"I'm just taking it off, I'll sleep in my underwear." Maura said. She took her dress off and lied next to Alex. Maura leaned over Alex and gave her soft kiss on the cheek.

"Goodnight." Maura whispered in Alex's ear, and then she leaned back, putted her head on the pillow and went to sleep.

* * *

Maura was walking back and forth in the kitchen at Alex's apartment. She was holding her cellphone, and every once in a little while she would dial a number and hanging up before she even heard the first ring. She knew she have to make this call, but she had no idea what to say. Eventually, she had dialed the number. She waited until she heard a voice saying "Hello?"

"Ian, it's Maura." she said.

"Maura, how are you?" he sound happy to hear her voice.

"I'm good, and you?" she asked.

"I'm great, now that you've called. How can I help you?"

"Ian, I have an answer for you, I've made my choice." she said.

"Okay, I'll be over in ten minutes." he said and hung up. Maura knew that Alex won't be back until later that evening, because her mother sent her a flight ticket to L.A for the weekend. She had no idea what was going to happen, and she felt like her skirt became tighter and tighter, so she went to take off her clothes and put on a dress instead. She was ready just in time when Ian knocked on the door.

"Hello Maura." he said, smiling as always.

"Ian." she said. She didn't know what else to say. "Uh, come in. would you like something to drink?"

"No, thank you. I've had coffee just before you called." he said as they sat on the couch. "Would you like to tell me about your decision?"

"It's... I've actually had a decision, I've made up my mind, but the second I called you everything had just... disappeared. I can't explain it." she answered.

"You in a lot of stress right now, am I right?"

"Yes."

"So what can I do to help you be more relaxed?"

"I..." Maura didn't know what to say and what to do. Simply the presence of Ian near her could make her heart beat stronger and faster, but still remain calm.

"Maura, look at me." he said, putting his finger under her chin. "Look at me and say it. I know what you want to say, even though it's hard for me believe that you can give up on me."

She was confused about her feelings, her thoughts, her mind was a huge mess. Ian leaned a little closer to her and said "Maura, I still want to fight over you, I still believe that even though you've made up your mind, I have a chance."

Maura couldn't say anything. She was paralyzed, she wanted to say something, to do something, her brain had sent the order, but her body won't obey. Ian leaned closer and kissed her, just like the last time she saw him, almost three years ago. She remember how horrible it was for her to get over his leaving the last time, how much tears were streaming down her face, and how supportive Jane was. Yet she couldn't get over him, she still loved him, after all these years and all the pain.

"Ian I love Alex." she said suddenly, leaning back in a fast move.

"I know..." he said. "but you also love me."

"I know. Ian, you have to understand that if I'll cheat on Alex, I will never forgive myself. Never." Maura said.

"Maura, I know all of this. you're the best person I've ever met, you can't lie or cheat, and I really like it in you." he said. He smiled again, it seemed like he has never stopped smiling at her. "But I have to admit that the one thing I want the most right now is to take you to your bed and have sex with you. Actually, I don't mind just stay here, on the couch with you, and kiss you until you'll tell me to stop, hopefully you won't."

"But I can't cheat on Alex, Ian, I just can't. Ian..." she said, looking at his hands holding hers. "Ian, I love you, and I always will. You are the most special guy I've ever met, and I don't regret what we've had, but I just think that Alex is my future."

"I am your future, Maura." he tried to convince her.

"Ian, after the last time you left I cried like I've never cried before, a lot of tears were shed that evening, a lot. I promised myself I'll try to forget you, and I succeeded it until you came, so please just... don't make it any harder." she almost started to cry.

"Maura, I... I love you. Please."

"And I love you too, but I'm with Alex, and I love her so much... it's unexplainable, just like my feeling for you. And I don't want to give up on you, but I can't cheat on Alex..." she said.

"I am so glad to hear that."

Maura and Ian turned their heads to the door. Alex was standing there, looking at Maura.

"I took an earlier flight, I didn't want to get home in the middle of the night." she said.

"Excuse me..." Maura said to Ian and walked to the door. "I need to talk to you, in the hallway." she whispered in Alex's ear.

"What is it?" Alex asked after Maura closed the door.

"I..." Maura started, but Alex stopped her.

"Look, Maura... I love you, you're everything to me. I swear that I would die for you, but it seems like you always have to convince yourself that you love me back as much as I love you."

"No, no! Alex, if it was like that, I wouldn't have been here at all. I'm here because I love you, and I love to be with you, but Ian... Ian used to be the one I was supposed to marry one day, and that's something you can't forget so easy."

"So what do you want from me?" Alex asked.

"Time. I just need some time to think, to have some time spent with Ian and to figure out what he wants from me and what do I want from him." Maura answered. Her tone was begging.

"Fine. You have ten days, and that's it. Go, be with Ian in those ten days, sleep with him, have a baby with him, but I want a final, complete answer after ten days." Alex said. Maura nodded, avoiding looking in Alex's eyes.

"Oh, come ON! Stop doing that... you're like a five years old who realizes that tears will bring her whatever she wants..." Alex said in despair, hugging Maura.

"I'm sorry, I can't help it... I feel like such a baby..." Maura said. Her eyes were wet. "I love you Alex, I really do, I love you so much..."

"I know, sweetie, I know, and I love you too, but you seem to be in a lot of tension and in so many troubles between your brain and your heart, so just... take those ten days, make up your mind, and then come back to tell me what is going on." Alex said. She held Maura's face in her hands. She wanted to kiss her, but instead she just said "Let's go back inside, Ian is waiting for you."

"Yes, okay." Maura said. They went back into the apartment and Maura said to Ian "Listen, I... I think I'll spend the night here and I'll call you in the morning, okay?"

"Okay, call me in the morning. Have a good night." he said and kissed her goodbye on her cheek.

"Why didn't you go with him?" Alex asked after Ian had left.

"Because I want you next to me tonight, I need you tonight." Maura said. Alex smiled to herself, she was completely in love with Maura in any possible and impossible way.

"Come on, let's go to bed, we could both use some sleep." Alex said. They went hugged to the bedroom and lied on the bed. Alex hugged Maura until she fell sleep, and only then she went to put on her pajama.

* * *

"Hey Ma." Jane said as she walked in the One Division Café. Angela was in the middle of making a cup of coffee for an officer in uniform.

"Jane, how are you sweetie?" she said. She served the coffee to the cop and went to give Jane a hug.

"Ma, I have a question for you – it's been almost ten months since Ian came to my apartment to ask me where can he find Maura."

"So?" Angela said and got back to work.

"So, do you think he is still with her in Connecticut or is he back in Africa, again?" Jane said.

"I don't know, I haven't talked to her in a while." Angela said.

"Well, me too, but... hang on - "Jane stopped, "a while? Ma, did you talk to Maura after she left?" Jane's tone was filled with shock and anger.

"Well, yeah. Just because she decided not to talk to you does not mean that I can't talk to her if we both want to talk." Angela said, justifying herself.

"Yeah, you're right..." Jane sighed.

"Hey, where are you going?" Angela said.

"the squad room, Korsak found something about that case we've been working on for the last three months." she said and went to the elevator.

* * *

Maura woke up before sunrise. During the night she woke up four times. Her mind was full of thoughts and she couldn't stop running scenarios, some are good and some are bad, in her mind. She lied in bed until Alex woke up. When Alex started to get ready for work and Maura went to call the dean and tell him she won't be teaching for the next ten days. Then she started to pack a bag for the next ten days. Alex didn't say a word to Maura the whole morning.

"Alex, wait." Maura said right before Alex left the apartment.

"What?"

"Don't go like this. You said that I have ten days, so don't make me feel bad for going away to figure out what is going on in my mind." Maura said, almost begging. Alex putted her bag down and took a few steps forward and stopped when she was one step away from Maura.

"I give you time, but you have to understand that it hurts to know that you actually need time to realize if you love me or not, after we've been living together for ten months, ever since you've moved to Connecticut. That hurts, Maura." she said.

"I know, and I'm so, so sorry, believe me." Maura said and hugged her.

"I have to go to work now." Alex said after a few minutes.

"Alex." Maura said. Alex stopped again. "Can I at least get a kiss goodbye before we both go?"

Alex went back, standing in front of Maura. There were only a few centimeters between them. Alex putted her hand on Maura's scruff and pulled her closer to her in a fast move and kissed her gently. Maura hugged her, not letting her go, and ran her hand in Alex's red hair.

"I have to go now." Alex said a few minutes later. "Goodbye, Maura, hopefully today won't be the last time I see you."

"I love you." Maura said.

"I love you too." Alex said, and left. Maura crushed her body on the couch and called Ian. She told him to come over and pick her up, and he said he will be over in ten minutes.

She went to the bedroom and putted a few necessary things into a handbag. On the last moment she decided to take her laptop with her. Two minutes later Ian knocked on the door. Maura went to open the door and let him in. he greeted her with a smile, as usual.

"So where do you want to go?" he asked her as she went to bring her bag from the bedroom.

"I was thinking about New York City." she said, looking at him.

"Sounds great. Let's go to the airport, I'll call a cab." he said and went out and downstairs and out to the street to catch a cab. Maura looked around her. Every spot in the room her eyes landed on made her remember in moments she shared with Alex. She looked at the apartment one last time and then left, locking the door after stepping outside.

* * *

They were both silent. Ian didn't know what to say, and Maura didn't want to say anything. She needed this silence for a little while. Everything was so confusing for her. Only when they were already in a cab on their way from the airport to Plaza Hotel Ian asked Maura if she was okay.

"I'm… fine." She said. Ian looked at her. He knew she wasn't fine. "This situation is just… hard to digest. I've never expected to see you again after the last time you went back to Africa, then you call me and ask if you could come over, and then you show up at my girlfriend's apartment in Connecticut, out of the blue, and act like you expect me to choose you over her the moment I saw you."

"I know that it's hard and weird, and it's my fault that it's the way it is now, because I came over even though you told me that you're with someone else." He said. Ian took Maura's hand and held it, gently. "I'm really sorry that I made things complicated like that, I'm sorry it's difficult for you now because of me."

"Why did you come back?"

"I had to see it with my own eyes. I couldn't believe that you've moved on and gave up on us, even though I left you. And I knew that even if you did move on, I would fight until I get you back."

Maura looked at him. It was painful for her not to know who she loves more – him or Alex. "It's not your fault, Ian, please don't say it. It's not your fault, because it's mine – I moved on even though I knew that we weren't over. We were everything but over."

* * *

"So what would you like to do today?" Ian asked her after she checked in at the hotel.

"Let's just spend the day at Central Park." Maura said.

"That sounds great."

"But let me just go and get changed first, okay?"

"Okay, let's go." Ian said and called the elevator.

They walked in silence to their room at the top floor. Ian took Maura's suitcase and his own. Fifteen minutes after they entered the room, Maura was ready.

"Wow, you're… you're beautiful." Ian said. "Much more than I remembered."

"Thank you." Maura said. She was wearing a blue navy colored shirt with velvet on its collar and a white, tight, knee length skirt. She did look beautiful.

"Shall we?" Ian said, handing out his hand. Maura took his hand, and they left.

* * *

They arrived to Central Park a few minutes after they left the hotel. Maura led Ian to a bench under a tree, a few steps away from the William Shakespeare statue. The park was peaceful at this time of the day. They sat on the bench, silent, and they remained silent for a while.

"Would you like me to leave, to go back to Africa, so you won't have to make this choice?" Ian asked Maura after quite a while.

Maura looked at him. He was serious, and he looked straight into her eyes. "I can't answer that with complete honesty. I don't think that there is an honest answer for this question."

"Do you want me to kiss you?" he continued, waiting only one or two seconds after she answered him.

"I don't think there is an honest answer for that question as well." She said, looking at the ground. He put his index finger and his thumb under Maura's chin and gently raised her head up. He was more gentle than he could ever imagine he could be when he leaned closer to Maura and kissed her.

Maura missed him when he was in Africa. She knew it before he came back and she knew it now. She missed the way he hug her, the way he touch her shoulders right before he gives her a comforting hug, the way he looks right in her eyes. She missed the tiny smile he couldn't control everytime he saw her, the tiny smile that came just before the big, happy smile. She missed the way they could talk to each other without feeling any kind of embarrassment or discomfort, the way she could be honest with him just like she was with Jane, before it got complicated, because she knew that just like Jane, Ian won't judge her. She missed his eyes, his mouth, his supportive shoulders. She missed the way he loves her, even from a distance of almost seven thousand miles.

She missed the way he kisses her, gently, passionately. His kisses were always filled with love, sexual heat, tenderness and passion. She missed the way he hold her head while he kisses her, his left hand on the back of her head and his right arm on her waist, hugging her.

But this kiss was different. It was just as gentle, passionate and filled with love and sexual heat, as it was three years ago, but it was different. It felt to Maura as if Ian is trying to back off and to go further at the same time, as if he is torn between his love to Maura and Maura's will to stay as loyal to Alex as possible. And even though – it was perfect.

Around eight o'clock Ian gave Maura his coat after seeing she starts to shake, and around nine he suggested going back to the hotel, after seeing that Maura is still freezing. They walked in silence. Ian hugged Maura until they entered to their hotel room. They both took a shower and put on pajamas. They were tired, even though they didn't do any exhausting activity today. Before going to sleep Maura took her laptop and checked for new emails.

"What is it?" Ian asked, sitting on the bed next to Maura.

"An email I received from my students. Look," she pointed at the screen, "this is my classroom. These are students at their junior year." Maura said and a tear went down her cheek. "Look what they wrote – 'we miss you, doc!', and they aim their elbows towards the camera…"

"Why are they aiming their elbows towards the camera?" Ian said and gave Maura a tissue.

"A few months before I left Boston I was arrested for murder I didn't do. All the evidence pointed at me, and Jane was devastated when she had to arrest me. At the morning of the day I got arrested I found bruises all over my arms, from the elbows to the wrists." Maura said and took the tissue box, mumbling "thanks." She blew her nose and continued "The bruises showed that I hit the victim in the throat with my elbow. If I do it with enough power I can literally kill a man, and I told my class about this case, and it became to some sort of a ritual for us – we send a picture of all of us aiming our elbows to the camera, and send it to someone who missed a class."

"That's very sweet of them." Ian said and put all the used tissues in the trashcan in the bathroom.

"Yes, it is…" Maura put her hand on her chest and sighed." I think I'll go to sleep now." She said, but then she heard a new email notification. She went back to the inbox and opened the new email. It was from Jane.

_'Maura, it's been a very long time, I think we should put everything behind us and just move on._

_Please, please call me when you see this, even in the middle of the night._

_Jane.'_

Ian saw that Maura hesitates whether to call Jane or not. He decided to pretend he didn't see the message and let Maura make her decision on her own, without another pressure. 'I've done too much by now between her and Alex, I'd better not ruin what's left of her friendship with Jane.' He thought to himself and hugged Maura. She closed her laptop and put it on the nightstand, and cuddles with Ian.

* * *

_'He was cuffed in both his arms and legs. His mouth was taped-up with silver duct tape, and a tea cup was balanced on his knee. She tried to move, to help him, but she couldn't. Then she realized she was cuffed as well. She wanted to scream, but she failed. Not because he mouth was taped-up as well, but because she was paralyzed._

_She saw a shade of the man coming closer to her. She felt the familiar chill in the back of her head. She could almost feel his hand on her cheek._

_"Janie, I'm back… and I'm stronger than ever…" Hoyt said. He stepped closer to her and a sunbeam came across his face, only that he was different. He still had the scars from the time Jane burned him with a taser, but he looked… younger, maybe. "Aren't you happy to see me?" Hoyt said. He was so close to her she could feel his breath on the back of her neck. Hoyt kept on talking to her, whispering in her ear from time to time, but she couldn't hear him over the voices in her head worrying about Casey._

_She heard Casey's leg shaking. She was afraid that the tea cup will fall, and then the worst of all will happen. There was a silence, even Hoyt was quiet, and then she heard the tea cup shattering on the floor. She started to scream, yelling Casey's name._

_"No! Casey! Casey!" Jane screamed. She found herself in the dark, trying to look around, to find Casey, but for nothing._

_"Jane, Jane..!" someone said. It was no longer Hoyt's voice, but she wasn't sure if it was Casey's. She kept on screaming Casey's name.'_

"Jane! Jane, wake up!"

Jane opened her eyes. Casey was leaning over her, holding her shoulders. He helped her sit up and went to bring her a glass of cold water.

"It was just a dream, Jane, just a nightmare." He said after he came back. He sat next to her and hugged her.

"It was bad enough when he killed Maura in my dreams, and now he is killing you too." Jane said. She almost started to cry. The nights she had nightmares about Hoyt were always her worst nights of all.

"It's okay, I'm here." He said. He lied on his back and Jane put her head on his shoulder. "You're safe, I'm protecting you. And he is dead, he can't hurt you anymore."

"I know." She said. They didn't say another word. Casey stroke Jane's hair until they both fell asleep, and he hugged her all night long.


	9. Chapter 9

Oh my god, I can not **believe** I've finishd on time! I typed like three word pages in the past thirty minutes, and I typed them like crazy, cause they were not planned to be written at all.

I've made a lot of changes, and un/fortunately, this chapter did'nt came out as the original that I had (and lost). It's better in some parts, and in some parts it could have been better. Anyway, I really hope you all enjoy it, because I struggled to finish it before going to bed in a few minutes.

As always - comments and reviews are more than just welcomed.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 9**

_'Hey, you've reached to Alex Wolf. I can't talk right now, so leave a message and I'll call you back. Bye!"_

"Hello Alex, it's me, Maura. I… I think I've made my decision, but I'd only be guessing, I'll know for sure when I see you. I asked Ian to come back two days earlier because I really miss you." Maura said. She took a deep breath and continued. "I miss you, and I love you. I thought that what I felt for Ian could overcome my love to you, and that's why we went to New York, but I found out that it wasn't true. I'd only be guessing, but I think it's you. See you soon, bye."

Maura hung up. Alex didn't answer any of her calls in the past two days. Maura knew that it was it – if she couldn't make herself sleep with Ian, the one she claimed to be the love of her life, than what she feels for Alex is much deeper than what she feels for Ian. She did love Ian, she knew that she always will, he even told her once, a very long time ago, that if he wasn't a refugee than he'd probably ask her to marry him. But she knew that it was it, that as soon as she sees Alex she chooses her, and that's why she wanted to go back to Connecticut two days earlier. Ian arranged them a taxi to take them to Boston first, since Maura wanted to see Bass, and then to Connecticut.

"Are you ready to go?" he asked, smiling.

"Yes, I'm ready." Maura answered and put her cellphone in her purse. Ian took her suitcase in one hand and his in the other hand. Maura thanked him.

They checked out quickly and entered the taxi. They left quite early in the morning, expecting to be at Connecticut until nine PM. The driving to Boston was quiet. Maura was tired, she didn't sleep well at night, so she put her head on Ian's shoulder and closed her eyes. She was uncomfortable with the silence and asked the driver to turn on the radio.

"Are you okay with rock?" the driver asked.

"What kind of rock?" Ian asked.

"I have some CDs here. Let me see… I have Guns 'N' Roses, KISS, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Bon Jovi – "

"I like Bon Jovi." Ian said.

"I'm okay with Bon Jovi. Not quite my cup of tea, but I don't mind."

"I only have two albums – Cross Road and Keep The Faith. Which one do you prefer?" the driver asked, looking at Ian and Maura through the mirror.

"It doesn't matter to me, you can choose what you want." Maura said and closed her eyes.

"Keep The Faith, I like it a bit more." Ian said.

"You've got it." The driver smiled. He put the CD in the stereo and turned the volume a little higher. He pressed a button a few times. "The first couple of songs are not that good as the rest of the album. Ah, this one is good." He said.

Maura kept her eyes closed, determined to get some sleep. Ian started to sing in her ear the lyrics, whispering.

"You want commitment, take a look into these eyes, they burn as fire, until the end of time, and I would do anything - I'd beg, I'd steal, I'd die, to have you in these arms tonight…" he sang quietly, and his voice was so relaxing. "Baby, I want you like the roses want the rain, you know I need you like the poet needs the pain, and I would give anything - my blood, my love, my life, if you were in these arms tonight…"

She started to feel as if her eyelids were heavier than usual.

"I'd hold you, I'd need you, I'd get down on my knees for you, and make everything alright, if you were in these arms… I'd love you, I'd please you, I'd tell you that I'll never leave you, and love you 'til the end of time if you were in these arms tonight…"

She was so tired, and a few seconds later she fell asleep.

* * *

Ian woke her up a few minutes before the driver stopped the taxi in front of her house. Maura said she'll be right back and went inside her house. She still carried her key to the front door, even though she lived in Connecticut in the past few months. She came inside quickly, making sure Angela's car isn't around. She fad Bass, took a few things she needed, gave another look around and left her house, running back to the taxi.

"Where are we going now?" the driver asked.

"The airport please." Maura said.

"As you wish." He said with a smile and they drove off.

* * *

"Maura." Ian said right before they went to the gate. Maura looked at him. "I just want to tell you that I've had the best time with you, I loved every moment we were together. I'm only saying this because I don't know if I'll have another chance to tell you how much I love you."

"Thank you, Ian." Maura said. She stepped closer to him and gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek. Ian smiled and held her hand, and they went through the gate into the tunnel on the way to the plane.

* * *

They landed at the airport in Connecticut on eight-thirty PM and took a cab to Alex's apartment. When they arrived Maura asked Ian not to go home yet.

"No matter what happens, I still want to say goodbye."

"I'll wait right here." He said. He paid the cab driver and let him go, knowing that walking to his apartment will take no longer than fifteen minutes.

"I'll be back, see you soon." Maura said and went inside the building. She went upstairs to the first floor, walked down the hall until she reached an apartment with the number 14 on its door and knocked on the door. A few seconds later Alex opened the door.

"Maura, I… what are you doing here?" Alex asked, confused.

"Didn't you get my message?" Maura said.

"No, no I didn't…" Alex said.

"Aren't you going to let me in?" Maura asked, a little confused too.

"Of course, I'm sorry…" Alex said and let Maura in. "Weren't you supposed to be back only in two days?"

"I've told you, I left you a message that I'm coming back sooner than expected." Maura said and put her handbag aside. "Come here, sit down, I have something to tell you."

"What is it?" Alex asked. She let Maura lead her to the couch and they sat down.

"I went to new York with Ian so I can do some thinking." Maura said. They looked at each other's eyes, and then Alex looked at Maura's hands. "Ian has stayed the same man I fell in love with, but I realized that if I can't make myself stop thinking about you when I'm with him, that has to mean that what I feel for you is much stronger and deeper."

"Okay…"

"Alex," Maura said and took Alex's hands in her hands, "I choose you. I love you. I love you so much, and if Ian can't change it than nothing in the world can."

"Maura – " Alex started, but a voice coming from the bedroom interrupted their conversation.

"Alex? Is this the delivery guy with our food?"

Maura turned her look at the woman who came out of the bedroom and made her way to the kitchen. Alex closed her eyes and her head dropped.

"Oh, hello." The woman said.

"Hello." Maura responded. Then she turned her eyes back to Alex and said "Alex, who is this?"

"Maura, this is Annie Dawson, and old friend from college. Annie this is Maura."

"Hello Maura, nice to meet you." Annie smiled, but Maura saw that at the moment she realized that she is talking with Maura, her attitude changed.

Yet, Maura smiled when she said "Nice to meet you too."

"I think we need to talk." Alex said.

"I think we should." Maura responded. "So start talking."

"I…" Alex seemed lost.

"I'll leave you two alone." Annie said and went back to the bedroom.

"Well?" Maura said after she heard the bedroom door being shut.

Alex immediately started to talk, not stopping even to breath. "Maura, I'm so sorry, I really am. I didn't mean to do anything, I didn't mean for anything to happen, I just –"

"Who is she, Alex?" Maura cut her sentence.

"Annie is an old friend, we were roommates in collage. We also dated for a while during our junior year."

"What is she doing here?"

"We weren't in touch for a while, and when you decided to go with Ian to New York I was devastated, and I wasn't thinking, I just called her. It was about midnight the same night you left, and when I woke up in the morning she was at the doorstep. Listen, I'm so, so sorry, Maura, really – "

"Alex, stop it. Now. I want you to tell me exactly what happened."

"I was devastated, I was sure that after I suggest you to go with Ian for a few days you'd tell me that there is no reason for you to go because you love me, because you love me more than anything." Alex said. "I was sure that if I suggest what you suggested to Jane before you left Boston, that you would never do what she did to you, and you'd choose me."

"Don't put my history with Jane in this." Maura said, coldly.

"Okay, I'm sorry. Anyway, when I saw Alex at the doorstep I was hurt and vulnerable, I wasn't thinking. I invited her in, she told me that she heard in my voice that I needed someone, and that no one was around. We sat down right here, on the couch, and I told her everything. I started to cry at some point. She brought me tissues from the bedroom and she hugged me, and it didn't feel weird at all, it didn't feel like I haven't seen her in the past six years. We sat here for an hour until I stopped crying, and then she got up to put the used tissues in the trashcan, and came back with a bottle of wine. We drank only about two or three glasses each, and that thought came into my mind. I couldn't control it, and then she leaned towards me and kissed me." Alex said. Her eyes were soaked with tears.

"Is that all?" Maura said. She looked down at her hands so Alex won't see she is almost crying too. When Alex didn't answer Maura looked at her and said "Did you sleep with her?"

Alex couldn't speak. She looked at Maura, she could barely see her through the tears, and nodded. Maura stood up in a fast move. "Maura, I'm so, so sorry!"

"You…" Maura started, but she choked. She took a breath and continued with the same anger she had when she stood up. "You told me, you made me **promise** I'd try not to cheat on you, and I kept my promise. I didn't sleep with Ian, not even once in the past **three years**, not since last time I saw him. And how could I? Only kissing him felt like cheating on you! Like a betrayal! I came back two days earlier because I couldn't handle not being around you anymore, and you didn't even return my calls in the past **two days**. I started to think at some point that something had happened to you and I wasn't there for you, that you were involved in an accident or something! And while I could understand what could be a rational reason for you to ignore my calls for two days, you were cheating on me with your ex-girlfriend from collage?!" Maura said, practically yelling at Alex. She couldn't believe that she is in this position, disappointed by another woman who meant so much to her.

"Maura, you have no idea what I feel like, I feel so stupid and like a complete idiot. I'm so, **so** sorry, please forgive me, please!" Alex begged. "I love you Maura, so much, the sex with Alex didn't mean anything to me, **please**!" Alex tried to take Maura's hand, but Maura took it away as soon as Alex touched her.

"Don't you touch me." Maura said, fire in her eyes, "I don't want to talk to you or see you again. Tomorrow morning I'll come over to take my stuff, and you'd better not be here."

"Maura, Maura please don't go…" Alex said, but Maura already took her handbag and went downstairs back to Ian.

"Alex?" Annie said, softly. She came into the living room, hesitating. When she saw Alex was crying she rushed to her and hugged her.

"She's gone, Annie, she left me, I lost her… Annie I lost Maura…" Alex cried, her tears soaking Annie's shirt.

"Shh… it's okay, everything will be okay, I'm here…" Annie said, stroking Alex's red hair.

* * *

"Come with me Ian, were leaving." Maura stormed out of the building.

"Maura, wh – " Ian said, confused, when he saw Maura storming out of the building.

"We're going to your apartment." Maura said.

"Maura, Maura! Wait." Ian said. Maura stopped and Ian put his hands on her shoulders. "What happened? Why are you crying?"

"I – " she started, but she choked.

"Relax, relax Maura, calm down." He said. They looked at each other's eyes. Ian took deep breaths with Maura.

Maura started to talk fast, barely breathing between words. "I went into her apartment, and we talked. She seemed a bit worried, or guilty, but I didn't notice it. We sat on the couch and I told her, I told her – "she choked again, but started to breath normally again in a few seconds. "I told her that I chose her. I'm so sorry Ian, it was a mistake not to choose you from the start."

"Maura, calm down, please." Ian said, almost begging her. "Stop apologizing, I don't think that the reason you're so upset right now is your fault. Just calm down and tell me what happened."

"W-we sat on the couch a-a-and t-talked," Maura said, stuttering, and looked at the floor. "And then a woman c-came out of th-the bedroom, an-and Alex s-s-said th-that it's Annie and then Annie went b-back to the bedroom. I asked Alex who is she, and sh-she said th-that they were **ex-girlfriends** from c-collage, and that sh-she called her after you and I w-went to New York, and in the morning she j-just **showed up** in her doorstep, and Alex said she was h-hurt and v-vulnerable and she cried and they kissed, and when I asked if they slept she just n-nodded, and then I-I… I just got up, and she tried to stop me, but I just y-**yelled** at her that sh-she is a ch-cheater and that I couldn't s-**sleep** with you b-because i-it felt like cheating on her, and I could barely k-k-**kiss** you and not to f-feel guilty, and she j-just kept saying that she's s-**sorry**, and I j-just… I left." Maura finished and raised her look up, gazing into Ian's eyes.

"Oh, god, Maura… I'm so sorry for you." He said. He hugged her and gave her a kiss on her forehead.

"I-I told her that we will come tomorrow morning t-to take my stuff, would you come with me? I don't want to do this alone…" Maura said after a few seconds.

"Of course I will! Maura, you're not alone, okay? I'm here for you, I don't want you to do this by yourself."

"Thank you Ian." Maura said.

"Come on, let's go to my apartment. You can take a shower if you want and get changed."

"Okay."

"Here, I'll take your suitcase." Ian said and took Maura's suitcase. They walked in silence for ten minutes until they reached his apartment. Ian opened the door and let Maura in first. "I'll get you a towel so you could take a shower."

"Thank you." Maura said and sat on his couch. He smiled at her and went to the bathroom. A minute later he came back with a towel and a large t-shirt of his.

"Thought you'd might be too tired to unpack your suitcase, so you can sleep with this." He said and gave her the towel and the shirt. "I would've given you a pair of loose boxers as well, but at this time of the year you'd be waking up drowning in your own sweat."

"That's okay." Maura laughed. "Thank you very much."

"No problem. I'll order some Thai food for us, okay?"

"Yes, that would be great." Maura said and went to take a shower.

Ian watched her walking to the bathroom and smiled to himself. Then he took out his cellphone and dialed the number of the nearest Thai food restaurant. "Hello, I would like to order some Thai food to one hundred and sixty Saint Ronan Street…"

* * *

"Thank you." Maura said. They were lying on Ian's bed, her head was on his chest. He wrapped his arms around her, hugging her close.

"For what?" he asked.

"For dinner, and for being so supportive when you saw me crying after I left Alex's apartment. And for coming with me tomorrow morning to take my stuff. And for letting me stay here, with you." she said, looking into his blue eyes.

"Maura," Ian chuckled, "you don't need to thank me for any of these things. I'm here for you." he said, gazing into her eyes. "I'm here, and I'm not leaving."

"You say it now, but in a few days, or weeks, or months, you'll have to go back to Africa." Maura said, looking away.

"Nobody said I have to go back. I won't lie to you – I love what I do, I love bringing food and medications to countries that no one cares about. I love my job." he said and sat up and pulling Maura to a seating position as well. "But no matter how much I love my job, as long as I can be with you I won't go back to Africa. I was a fool when I left you three years ago, and I wish I'd realize it sooner."

"Ian..." Maura said. She took his hands and held them in her's. She looked at him and saw the pure honesty in his eyes. He meant to every word he said. Maura was flattered, touched. She left the sentence hanging in the air and wrapped her hands around his scruff and pulled him closer, hugging him. Ian put his hands on her back, moving them up and down.

"Come on, let's get some sleep." Ian said after a few minutes. Maura didn't say anything, just nodded. He lied down and opened his arms, letting her to catch her place in between them and to put her head on his chest.

* * *

_'"Dugan get your hands off of her!" Jane yelled. She stormed in into Dennis' apartment, pointing his gun at him._

_"Jane, wh - " Maura started, but her words swallowed up with a grunt of disbelief and pain, as Dennis took a knife and put it against Maura's throat._

_"Where are your two loyal partners?" he taunted her. Jane stayed focused, ignoring his attempt to undermine her._

_"Take your hands __**off**__of her, __**now**__!" she said, almost yelling._

_"You won't shoot me, detective, not when you risk hurting your friend here," he pressed the knife a millimeter closer at Maura's throat, but there was not even a drop of blood on the knife, "instead of me, not when the risk is so high."_

_"Do you really want to try me? I promise you that I'm a __**very**__good shooter, I __**never**__miss." Jane said. Her eyes were locked at the knife._

_"It is possible that you've never missed a shot," he said with a smile, mocking her, "__**yet**__."_

_"I won't say it again Dugan – take you're hands __**off**__of her, and do it __**right now**__!" Jane yelled._

_"I don't think so, detective. You see – the odds are against me, I'm not going to get out of here alive, but I __**can**__take doctor Isles with me." he said. He looked at Maura, and then back at Jane. "And that's __**exactly**__what I'm going to do."_

_"__**No**__!" Jane screamed. She saw Dennis slipping Maura's throat and took a shot. She saw him falling into the elevator shaft, blood coming out of the gunshot wound in his head._

_Maura fell on the floor, bleeding. Jane dropped her gun and ran to Maura, leaning at her. She took her jacket off and pressed it against Maura's throat as gently as she could, to stop the bleeding._

_"It's over Jane, it's over." Maura whispered._

_"It's not over Maura, stay with me!" Jane yelled, crying._

_"Have a good life, Jane." Maura whispered, and closed her eyes._

_"__**No**__! Maura! No! Stay with me Maura, __**no**__!" Jane cried over her best friend's body, but it was already too late.'_

"Jane! Jane, open your eyes! Look at me! Wake up!"

Jane raised herself to a seating position in a fast move, almost hitting Casey's head.

"Are you okay? You were so peaceful, and then you just started to sweat and screamed Maura's name." Casey said, putting his hand on Jane's face, under her jawline.

"Yes, yes I'm fine, it... it was just a nightmare." Jane said. "Whats the time?"

"Almost seven thirty." Casey said, not taking his eyes off of her even for a single second.

"I'd better go take a shower, get ready for work." Jane said, squeezing his hand with gratitude.

"You want me to make you breakfast? Or a cup of coffee maybe?" he asked.

"Coffee would be great, thank you." she said and kissed him on the cheek before standing up and going to the bathroom.

_'What the hell was that dream? Dennis?! After almost two years?'_ she thought to herself while she was standing in the shower, letting the water wash away the pieces of the nightmare she had just woken up from.

* * *

"Rise and shine, Maura." Ian whispered in Maura's ear.

"Mmmm..." she hummed. "Do I have to wake up? Can't we just stay in bed all day?"

"Not if you want your stuff from Alex's apartment." Ian said. When Maura heard Alex's name a quiet sigh of pain escaped from her mouth.

"I just hope she won't be there." Maura said, sitting up. "Before I stormed out I told her that she'd better not be there when we come. I just hope she has the minimal decency not to be there."

"Even if she does," Ian said, sitting up as well, "I'll be there with you, and everything will be just fine."

Maura looked down at her hands. Then she looked up, gazing into his eyes. "Thank you."

"No problem." he said and squeezed gently her shoulder and leaned towards her, kissing her forehead.

* * *

"Oh look." Maura said when they arrived to Alex's apartment. They were standing in front of the apartment door, looking at the yellow note that was taped to the door, under the peephole. "She did have the decency not to be here."

"Well, read it. It's definitely not for **me**." he chuckled.

Maura smiled at him and took the note off of the door and read it out loud. "_Maura, I know I've said it so many times yesterday, but it still feels like it wasn't said enough times. I want you to know that I'm so sorry, I wish I wouldn't have called Annie at all, and if I had known what will be the outcome of this phone call, I'd definitely wouldn't have called her in first place. I'm so sorry about what happened, you don't deserve it. Anyway, you have a key. I want to ask you, please, that if you think that there is still a chance – keep the key, and it will be a sign for me that maybe I haven't ruined everything, only a part, and that there is still a chance for me. Love, Alex._"

"Come on, let's just get your stuff, okay?" Ian said, distracting Maura from the note.

"Yes, yes." she said. She took her key out of her purse and opened the door. Ian helped her to put all her stuff in a bag he brought and Maura checked the place, making sure she is not forgetting something.

"Come on, let's go." Ian said.

"Yes, just one second." Maura said. She went to the kitchen counter, put the note Alex wrote for her and placed the key on top of it. "Okay, now we can go."

* * *

"Rizzoli." Jane said as she answered her phone.

_'Jane, it's Frost. We have a body."_

"Give me an address, I'll be there in twenty minutes."

_"You know the address, you come here every day."_

"What do you mean?" Jane was confused.

_"The body was found at the evidence store room, at the basement of the headquarters"_

"**What?**" Jane said, shocked. Frost didn't respond. "I... give me ten minutes, see you there." she said and hung up.

"What is it?" Casey asked, handing Jane a cup of coffee.

"Frost said that a body was found at the evidence storage, at the basement of BPD headquarters." Jane said. "I'm sorry, but I don't have a spare minute, I have to go."

"It's okay. Want me to drop you off something for lunch?" he asked and poured her coffee to a paper cup and closed it with a plastic cover.

"That would be great, thanks." she said, wearing her jacked and putting the gun in it's case. She gave Casey a quick kiss, grabbed her badge, keys and cell phone and left.

* * *

"Sorry, I was stuck in traffic. What do we got?" she said to Frost and Korsak at the moment she arrived to the basement.

"Adam Nichols, thirty six years old, a cup." Frost said. Jane's eyes were wide open.

"A cup? Are you kidding me?" she said with frustration.

"It's always harder when it's one of us." Korsak said and put a comforting hand on Jane's shoulder.

"How old did you say he was? Thirty six?" Jane asked. Frost nodded. "Was he married?"

"Yes, he lived with his husband two blocks away from the Dirty Robber." Frost said. "Jane... they have two kids – son and daughter, twins, eight years old."

"Wh..." Jane couldn't actually finish. She had no idea what to say. It was always harder when the murder victim was a cup or had kids, and the combination of these made it ten times harder.

"You said he had a husband, could've been a hate crime." Korsak said.

"Yes, but why a cup?" Frost asked.

"Maybe it was personal." Jane thought to herself. "Who is doing the autopsy in this case?"

"The number one in your heart." Frost grinned.

"Doctor Pike? Ser – are you kidding me?" Jane was frustrated. She heard Frost and Korsak grinning and gave them a hateful stare.

"C'mon, you can't tell us not to laugh! Everytime you just **look** at the guy you have that look on your face like you're about to throw up!" Korsak said.

"Yeah, because everyone else is just **madly in love** with him." she muttered and went outside the storage room to the elevators.

* * *

"Do you have any classes today?" Ian asked Maura after they arrived at his apartment.

"No, I don't have any classes on Friday." she said, putting her purse on the kitchen counter. "Why?"

"Just thought we could do something together." he said, putting his hands around her waists.

"I don't feel like doing much, actually. Could we just sit here on your couch and watch a documentary or something?" she said.

"If that's what you want to do then I'm in." Ian said. "Anything to drink?"

"No, thank you." she smiled and sat on the couch.

"How are you doing?" Ian asked after a few minutes, when Maura was cuddled between his arms.

She raised her look up from the TV screen and looked at Ian, who looked back at her. "I... not very good, actually." she said. Ian took the remote from the coffee table and muted the TV.

"I'm listening."

"It's just hard. we've been together since the day I came to Connecticut, we met on the plane from Boston to Connecticut. I was certain the I'll end up married to her, in a few years." Maura said, looking down at her hands. "But never, not even in my worst nightmares, I've never thought that she'd cheat on me. Especially not after **she** told **me** to go with you and be with you until I figure out what is going on and who I want to be with."

"I know it hurts to be betrayed like that." he said, putting his hand under Maura's jawline and raising her face up until she looked into his eyes. "I know how much it hurts, but you'll get passed this. You're a very strong person."

"I hope you're right..." she said and buried her head in his chest, letting him wrap his arms around her.

* * *

"Korsak." Jane said to her partner. He turned around and looked at her. "Who is going to tell the family?"

"I really don't know. This is a hard case, it won't be easy with the family this time." he said, pouring coffee to a cup. "Want some?" he asked Jane.

"No thanks, I've already had mine at the car on the way over here." she said and turned around. "I'll talk to you later."

"Okay." he said.

Jane went straight to Cavanaugh's office. She knocked gently three times on the door and came in. Cavanaugh raised his look up from the paper he was working on and looked at Jane.

"Yes, detective Rizzoli?" he asked.

"Someone needs to go and tell the family of the victim. I mean, he was a cop, and according to the records he took the detective test yesterday, and got ninety five percents. He had a husband and two kids, eight years old son and daughter, and somebody needs to tell them."

"But nobody thinks he is capable of doing it this time?"

"Exactly."

Cavanaugh was silent for a moment or two, and then said "Come on, take your coat. I'll come with you this time."

"Thanks you, lieutenant." she said.

"It's okay, detective. It's a cop, and I understand he was a damn good one too. I think it's only fair that I'll come to tell the family." he said and put on his coat. "Let's go."

* * *

"Hello, how may I help you?" a nice man said to Jane and Cavanaugh as he opened the front door of his house.

"Are you the husband of Adam Nichols?" Jane asked.

"Yes, I'm Roy Grey. May I help you with anything?" he asked, letting them in. Jane and Cavanaugh walked in quietly and Roy closed the door behind them.

"I'm lieutenant Sean Cavanaugh and this is detective Jane Rizzoli." Cavanaugh said.

"Is everything okay? Is it about Adam?" Roy asked, confused and worried.

"Maybe we should have this conversation at the living room, you should sit down." Jane suggested. Roy nodded and lead them to the living room.

"Look, I'm very confuse right now, could you please tell me what is going on?" he asked.

"Mr. Grey, we are so sorry." Cavanaugh said. "We found Adam's body this morning, at the evidence storage room at the basement of BPD headquarters."

"We are so sorry for your loss." Jane said.

"Oh my god..." Roy said, but only just. He opened his mouth with shock and Jane saw tears appearing in his eyes. "How, uhm..." he tried to speak, but chocked. "How did he die?"

"There was a gunshot wound in his shoulder, but the autopsy hasn't been done yet, so we were unable to determine whether it is or isn't the cause of death."

"He was **shot**?" Roy whispered. He couldn't talk any louder because of the tears. A moment after he pulled himself together, wiped his eyes with the edge of his sleeves and said "I suppose you'd want me to come down to the station so you could write down my statement or something."

"No, but we would like to ask you a few questions while were here." Cavanaugh said.

"Yes, yes, of course, anything to help you find out who killed him." Roy answered.

"When was the last time you saw Adam?" Jane asked softly.

"I met him at the Dirty Robber, two blocks from here, for lunch. He said he won't make it to dinner so I figured at least I get to see him at lunch time." Roy said, taking a tissue out of the box that was placed on the coffee table. "I actually took Emma and Daniel half an hour earlier from school so they get to see him too."

"Did you speak to him after lunch?" Cavanaugh asked.

"Yes, he... he called me around eight thirty, he wanted to say goodnight to the kids."

"And that was the last time you spoke with him?" Cavanaugh continued as Jane wrote every detail.

"Yes. He talked to the kids, told them he loved them and wished them sweet dreams. Then I took the phone back and talked with him for about two minutes. He told me that he loved me, and that I must never forget that, and he called me his lobster."

"What do you mean?" Cavanaugh asked, a bit confused.

"Lobsters are monogamist animals, and we both really liked the old sitcom, _'Friends'_. It was our way to say to each other 'until death do us apart'." Roy explained. Cavanaugh didn't seem to fully understand, but he moved on after Jane signed him with her head that she understood it.

"You know," Roy said after a moment, "it did seem a bit odd to me. He have never told me that I'm his lobster over the phone, not even once until last night. To us it was something to say when you're looking at each others' eyes."

"Did Adam had any enemies? Anyone particular who wanted him dead? Did he had a big fight or an argument with someone lately?" Jane asked softly.

"No, not that I know of. Although that when we went out for dinner a few days ago, when Emma and Daniel were with my sister, a couple of men called us fags. I didn't even gave a look at them until they started picking on Adam, after they found out he was a cop. They laughed at him, said something about 'where is your pink badge?' or something like that. Adam told them that if they kept harassing us he will have them arrested, and when they wouldn't stop he called his partner, who was still at the station, and he came over there in less then five minutes and put them in a cell for the night."

"Do you know what about them now? Are they still locked up waiting for trial or did they get to go home in the morning?" Cavanaugh asked.

"I don't know, I wish I had known. You think it's them, or one of them, right?" Roy asked.

"It is a possibility. Thank you very much, Mr. Grey, we will call you when we have more detail about Adam. Give us a call if anything comes in to your mind, anything that you thing might help us." Cavanaugh said and gave him his card.

"Yes, of course. I... I think I'll go tell Emma and Daniel that Adam won't be home anymore."

"Just one last question, Mr. Grey." Jane said.

"Yes, detective?" he turned back to look at her.

"Emma and Daniel, are they blood related to Adam?"

"No, I'm their biological father, but they still called him daddy." he said.

"Thank you, Mr. Grey, you've been very helpful. We will contact you when we have more detail." Cavanaugh said.

"Thank you lieutenant, detective." he said and closed the door behind them.

"Well, we know he isn't our killer." Cavanaugh said when they were back in Jane's car. "He said he was at home with his kids at the time of death."

"But we don't have a time of death yet." Jane said.

Cavanaugh took his cell phone out of his pocket and showed Jane a text message he had got a few minutes earlier from doctor Pike.

"Time of death: between eight and nine PM. So he isn't our killer." Jane said and started to drive back to the headquarters.

"Let's talk to Frost, tell him to find out who were these guys that our victim had them arrested for harassing a police officer." Cavanaugh said.

* * *

"I should probably get up, I still have a few more tests to check." Maura said.

"You'd better hurry, the last semester is almost over." Ian grinned.

"Yeah, you're right." she said and sat up, reluctantly.

"Come on, it's only noon. Finish them up quickly and then we could go out and do something to cheer you up a bit." Ian said, standing up and pulling her closer for a tight, close hug.

"I'm not quite sure I want to go and check those tests." Maura said, wrapping her arms around Ian's back.

"And why is that?"

"Because it means to let go of you, and I never know when I get to hug you, to touch you again."

"You get to hug me again as soon as you finish with those tests. Come on." he said and let go of her. Maura gave him another look and them went to the bedroom to check those tests.

* * *

"Did you get anything from doctor Pike?" Jane asked Frost and Korsak as she walked in the bullpen.

"No. I don't know if I should be down because we don't even have a determined cause of death, or to be happy because it means that he hadn't spoke to me." Frost chuckled, making Jane and Korsak laugh in their seats.

"Okay, now I'm being serious – you don't even have a determined cause of death?" Jane asked.

"No, we don't even know if he did or did not do the autopsy." Korsak said.

"What the hell is going on here?" Cavanaugh stormed in into the bullpen. "We don't have a cause of death, the autopsy hasn't even been done, and the murder victim is a damn cop! Ever since doctor Isles had left we can barely close our cases!"

"Sean, calm down." Korsak said, standing up and patting on his shoulder gently. "We all know that the leaving of doctor Isles had damaged our ability to close cases, but you have to calm down. This case is hard for us all."

"You're right, you're right Vince, I - "

"It's okay, lieutenant. This case is just hard, stressful." Jane said. "I'll go downstairs to the morgue, see if I can get anything out of that pain in the ass, doctor Pike."

* * *

"You're still checking those tests?" Ian said, climbing up on the bed and sitting behind Maura, putting his hands across her waists and stomach and kissing her neck.

"I don't recall mentioning how long it would take." Maura said, tilting her head aside and smiling with pleasure. A quiet moan of pleasure slipped out of her mouth as Ian kissed the spot above her collarbone. "Mmmm... that's nice."

"Why don't you put those tests aside and finish them later?" Ian said.

"Oka – No, no, Ian. As much as I really want to, I have to finish this first." Maura said, pushing him away very gently. "Sorry."

"It's okay, I'll wait for you on the couch.

* * *

"Lieutenant! I've got the cause of death!" Jane said enthusiastically as she stopped next to Korsak's desk, where Cavanaugh stood and talked with Korsak and Frost.

"Yes, Rizzoli, what is it?" he asked, turning around to look at her.

"I've got the cause of death, the gunshot in his shoulder – that was just for torture." Jane said, catching her breath. "After shooting his shoulder didn't help our killer, he must have got pretty mad, so he punched him in the chest. He broke two of his ribs, and they made two holes in his lungs. He bled into his lungs and chocked."

"Great job, Rizzoli." Cavanaugh said.

"Wait, that's not all." she said and pulled out of her inner pocket in her jacket a small evidence bag, with a micro SD card in it. "Frost, I got you a little present. We found this little guy inside his triceps muscle something, inside the muscle."

"Give it to me, let's see what I can get out of this little guy." Frost said, and Jane gave him the micro SD card. He went to his computer and inserted the card to the reader. Ten minutes later he cracked the password that locked the card. They now had access to the data. "That was easy." he said.

"Open a file, let's see what's in there." Cavanaugh said. They opened file after file, checking them all to the bone.

"These are all storage reports about the pieces down at the evidence storage room." Jane said.

"Yeah, but look – he marked a few lines in red on every report, see? He even wrote that red indicated missing items." Korsak pointed at the screen.

"Oh my god, he realized that someone is taking stuff from the evidence storage room. Those evidence are just lying there with no purpose, these are all evidence that belong to cold and closed cases."

"Jane, look." Frost said. He clicked open on another file, and a photo of an officer in BPD uniform showed up.

"Who is this?" Cavanaugh asked.

"My guess is that this is our killer." Jane said, satisfied.


End file.
